Can You See Me Through Your Lens ?
by Pussicats
Summary: Stiles could feel it all unravelling, he needed a distraction. Derek was gone, could Stiles find him? After months of research, Derek has returned to Beacon Hills and Stiles is about to ask him the most important question of his life. Will Derek say yes or no? If yes, they are about to start an incredible journey of discovery.
1. Back In Town

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

_**Author :**_ Pussicats (Tomoyuki) **_(AO3 username : SHINHIA)_**

_**Title : Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

_**Genre :**_ Photography, Romance, Nudity, Lemon, angst.

_**Rating :**_ M+

_**Pairing :**_ Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale.

_**Disclaimer :**_ Neither of the show or characters belongs to me, all are the property of MTV and Jeff Davis. Only the others are MINE.

_**A/N : **__So I had this small idea of a one-shot nagging me for quite a few long weeks, and then I thought **"Ok. Let's do it, baby."** ; And the one-shot I thought would be quick to write and easily finished turned out to be a new fanfiction, with multiple chapters and not near to be finished... Seriously, I see the end of it but it's far, far away in the future. _

_Anyway, hope you enjoy reading this and tell me what was your thoughts, feelings..._

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**_Can You See Me Through Your Lens_**

_**Chapter 1.**_

Derek returned to Beacon Hills silently and unnoticed, just like he had left six months ago, after the crazy night that was the lunar eclipse.

During those (_long, but he would never admit that aloud_) months, Stiles had at first tried to ignore that Derek had once again played the douche part, leaving without saying thanks or goodbye. Stiles was used to his personality, so he shouldn't be hurt by his behavior. That didn't mean he was okay with '_Sourwolf_' deliberately ignoring him.

So yeah, at first he tried to play it cool, like he didn't care, and he lasted about a month before his curiosity slowly ate away at his resolve, making him act. He _needed_ to know where Derek was, so he started what would turn into _massive_ amounts of research, including getting help from Danny for the more obscure ways of finding information. And what he found out... No, he certainly wasn't expecting that. Not at all!

_'Well'_, he had thought, 'that explained a lot. Like the crazy ass Camaro, the loft,' which Stiles had fallen in love with at first visit, 'and also all the leather jackets and tight, designer jeans.'

Derek - I'm a grumpy Sourwolf - Hale, had money, _way_ more money, than Stiles had thought and was fudging famous too.

Derek was a freaking famous photographer! He'd started his career back when he lived in New York with Laura and most of his work was nude photography, a good number of them being borderline homo-erotic pieces. And if that wasn't crazy enough, Stiles was so freakishly addicted to Sourwolf's pictures that it left a weird feeling of need in his stomach. He just... Adored them!

For the last four and a half months - initially finding Derek had taken him almost a whole damn month - Stiles had googled, Tumblred, tweeted, and scoured Facebook and the internet like crazy to find more of Derek's work. There was so much talent, so much sensibility and fragility in those pieces, and just that tiny bit of the great sorrow that was Derek, that Stiles had become a true fan of the artist that was his Sourwolf; and yes he could totally call Derek _**'His Sourwolf'**_, cause he had put the copyright on that the instant it had slipped out of his mouth.

By losing himself in Derek's art Stiles had found a way to forget, if only for just a moment, about the darkness around his heart. This new passion, because it had become one, was his way to stay sane and hold on to the ropes of life without losing himself in the obscurity and despair that was slowly eating away at him.

He looked, watched, studied the pictures, trying to understand who Derek really was. He tried to understand how, after having lived through all the disasters, the loss, and the pain, this beautiful soul could still find the beautiful clarity in and a shuddering empathy for a world that had tried to kill him so many times before.

Slowly, Stiles had started to fall for the artist that was _Darheel Kee_. Fall for the way Darheel Kee saw the world and tried to describe it, tell it in his pictures, his words taking the forms of people, places, blurs, shadows, edges, different shades of light and curves of body shapes and unknown faces. He started to fall for the man he knew hid behind that pseudo.

Stiles felt connected to the world of Darheel Kee; he felt something stir and start to beat, like a beating heart, inside of him every time he lost himself in the contemplation of those pieces. The want, the need to see Derek again growing each day and each hour he spent trying to reveal the secrets hidden in the man's pictures.

That's how he started to want Derek back. Stiles was shocked into silence at the realization that he missed Derek. He missed the older man more than he thought he _could_ miss him, the intensity of the hole Derek had left, being such an overwhelming feeling that Stiles hadn't been prepared for. He had struggled hard to understand his feelings and to make the effort to start to live with them.

So yes, he wanted to see Derek again, wanted to feel the man's presence in Beacon Hills, even if a mile separated them. He wanted him to come back because he wanted to understand the man, wanted to start from zero again and get to know Derek Hale as much has he wanted to get to know Darheel Kee.

Mostly though, Stiles wanted to become one of Derek/Darheel's pieces. He wanted to be touched by his gaze, wanted to know and see what he really was through the eyes of someone else, the eyes of Derek Hale. Stiles wanted to become the mans next piece of art work; he wanted all the black and white, the sepia, the blurs and bright pictures but also the nudes and the much more intimate shots he knew the artist in Derek liked to portray.

And that's how he found himself parked in front of Derek's loft, hands shaking on the steering wheel and his breath a quaky sound in the silence of his Jeep. He only had one chance at this, and damn, but he was afraid to blow it like he usually blew his chances in most cases.

He wanted to turn and leave, but no, this was too important to give up without even trying just because he feared not being able to make Derek understand how important this experience was for him. To explain how essential it was to lose himself in this and be able to forget all the rest, forget that a part of himself was desperately trying to eat the alive side of his human heart. And also, how secretly he needed this experience to get in touch with someone, to feel connected with someone other than Scott or his dad, how he craved the connection he knew being Derek's model would be the most wonderful experience of his life.

Yes, he needed that breath of fresh air that only Derek Hale could offer him, and he couldn't wait any longer to get it when he knew the man was there, in his loft alone and so close to his touch. He hoped Derek would understand and be willing to share that breath of fresh air he knew the man needed too, even if he kept it secretly hidden in his heart. Stiles had studied enough of the man's work to at least understand that much.

Taking a deep breath, he released it, opened his car door then climbed out, his keys jingling in his right hand. He crossed the street and reached the entrance door to Derek's building. With shaking fingers he tapped in the code to open the door, he hadn't forgotten it even after six months. He entered the entrance hall, his feet leading him directly to the elevator, and still shaking a bit he waited for it to bring him to Derek's floor. When the elevator finally made an abrupt stop, Stiles waited for the doors to open to let him out of the elevator. Knowing Derek could hear him, hear his raging heartbeat, ramped up his nerves...but still Stiles walked to the loft door and lifted his right fist to knock on the heavy metal; he only waited a few seconds and then...

Derek went for the door when Stiles knocked. He'd heard the teenager coming a mile away, recognizing the specific rattling sound of his Jeep, then his heartbeat when the teen got into the elevator. He opened the door and there he was, standing nervously, hands in the pockets of his dark berry red jeans, and still so damn... Him! Derek thought taking in Stiles' looks, the boy had barely change, yes barely, cause it was easy for Derek to notice that Stiles wasn't really the Stiles he'd known six months ago, before he took off with Cora for New-York.

"Stiles." He said simply, nodding his head a little.

"Derek..." Stiles answered, his voice carrying the nervousness he was feeling inside. No doubt Derek's proximity accentuated it.

"So...you're back." Stiles stated, his gaze finding Derek's. Man, but this was so awkward, he felt awkward just standing there in front of the man he had wanted to see for so long now and he didn't even know how to say _'hi'_ or even _where_ _to start_.

"Yes, I am." Derek answered, stepping out of the way to allow Stiles to enter the loft.

Stiles wasted no time, made his way to the living room. The windows on the rooftop had been replaced, and it seemed like some of the furniture had changed like the couch for example, it was longer than the last one and not that bottle green velvet but more of a midnight blue velvet. The bed was now barely visible as two thin curtains were hiding it on its left side, preventing your eyes from see what was behind them when you entered the loft. Stiles liked the color of the curtains and the style they gave to the place, the warm mid tone beige color looking so soft and so did its material. Stiles didn't recognized what it was, only that it seemed like something fancy you only see in those deco magazines. This addition gave a warmer edge to the loft, the place not seeming so cold, a little like Derek to be honest, Stiles thought when he turned back to face the man.

"So, why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your pack, doing whatever you do with them?" Derek asked, like his old self. In the past, the way the man talked to him would instantly have pissed Stiles off, now it only annoyed him a bit, he'd understood a long time ago that it was easier for Derek to act that way.

"I'm where I want to be, when I want to be!" He answered, seeing Derek lift an eyebrow, apparently amused by Stiles reply.

"Good for you! Now, what do you want?" Derek added, making his way to the kitchen, he had the feeling Stiles wouldn't be leaving anytime soon.

"I...needed to talk to you about... I've been wondering if you'd ever come back or if... and then I heard you were back in town, when I was at the police station. And I thought it was perfect timing, so I came cause I really needed to talk to you about something?" Stiles answered, babbling like he always did when nervous, and Derek throwing glances his way every minute or so was really making him nervous. He watched the werewolf move in the kitchen, not really daring to move closer and invade the mans space.

"Yes, clearly..." Derek said, amused to feel Stiles so nervous. Through everything they had lived and experienced together in the past, he'd never felt this boy, not so much of a boy anymore actually, this nervous around him. "I'm gonna make supper, you should sit down Stiles."

Was it the offer hidden in Derek's words or the kindness in the man's voice? Stiles couldn't have told you which one surprised him the most. Breathing out shakily, he went to sit down on one of the high, bar stools in front of the island. His feet on the chair bar, he couldn't help his knees from bouncing in nervousness. What if Derek ripped his throat out after Stiles had admitted knowing about the man's secret? He didn't want to face an angry Derek today or _ever_, to be honest.

"Hope you're hungry, Stilinski." Derek said, his back to Stiles working on what Stiles saw were potatoes.

"Actually...I'm starving!" Stiles admitted, having missed breakfast and lunch today, he had been to nervous to eat anything other than an apple at lunch to please Scott and Lydia. He hadn't told them why or what made him so nervous. He didn't wanted them to know, he wanted this to stay his secret. His and maybe Derek's secret, if the guy accepted.

"I kind of can tell you're hungry, yeah."

"Freaking werewolf..." Stiles whispered, watching Derek make his way to the oven to slide the tray containing the cut open potatoes inside. He found it was relaxing to watch Derek cook. He'd always thought the man was more of a take out kind of person, despite his well developed body, werewolf metabolism and all that. Learning that Derek could cook was quite a bit of a shock, yeah. One more thing Stiles could add to his list of _**'Derek - Sourwolf - Hale's hidden talents' **_just after _'fucking talented photographer'_. He caught the man's gaze and the hint of a smirk, no doubt his werewolf ears had caught his whispered words.

"So, you wanted to tell me something, I think." Derek said, putting steaks in a pan to cook slowly while he cut some tomatoes and onions before putting them in a salad bowl with some lettuce. Stiles watched him season the salad, a little amazed. Yes, Derek Hale definitely knew how to cook and they were healthy dishes at that.

"Yes, I wanted to ask you something!" Stiles repeated, getting nervous again. Taking a deep breath, he started to talk, deciding to lay all his cards on the table now than to wait endless minutes to get the nerve to ask Derek.

"Huh, while you were gone, I kinda found myself doing some research... Yeah you see, Danny kinda showed me how to track someone's phone using their GPS device; I didn't know where you were and I was curious and needed to focus on something other than... I needed a focus, okay!" Stiles said quickly, starting to fidget with his fingers, playing with the glass, plate and cutlery Derek had arranged in front of him. He wasn't lying, he really had needed to focus on something and had really needed to know where Derek was heading, he couldn't explain why, just that he had needed it with such an intensity that he couldn't think of anything else.

"You were gone, okay! You didn't even say goodbye. And Scott was too wrapped up in his new alpha responsibilities and my dad was trying to work out the best he could on what had happened with Deucalion and the Darach, and everyone else had their mind on something and me... I... Deaton wasn't joking when he said it would be different after, he really wasn't..." Stiles said in a whisper, his hands starting to shake around the glass Derek had filled with water.

Derek knew without asking that Stiles was talking about the sacrifice and the aftermath of it.

"Nothing has been the same since then. Everything is changed...in me...and around me! And I could, can feel it, it's there, it's always there. So I thought that if maybe I found out where you were then I could think of something else, if only for a while. And after Danny showed me how to search for someone I kinda found myself searching for...more, about you. Well, more that I still didn't know about you and that's how I found out what you did in New York."

"Oh." Derek simply said, filling their plates with the steaks, salad and potatoes he had taken out of the oven, he then placed a small pot of fresh cream he had made for the potatoes beside their own respective plates. Stiles could recognize cut chives and chunks of big sea salt in it.

"I found out about Darheel..."

"Stiles..." Derek tried to say, but Stiles was quicker and kept talking.

"At first I was curious, that seemed so out of character with the Sourwolf I know you are, but after looking at about twenty or more pictures you've done I couldn't stop myself. The thing is you're so fucking talented and I don't know, somehow I felt _connected_, to your work, to the way you see things. It really spoke to me and so I searched for more, and slowly I lost myself in your art. Finally I could think of something else, something positive, something other than the darkness I can feel creeping into my heart. And slowly I started to want more than to just to look at your work... I..." Stiles fell silent, not sure how to express his request, afraid to have Derek tell him NO to his face without blinking.

"You... What?" The man asked, his gaze searching Stiles'. "You can tell me." He added, trying to reassure the boy, he could smell how anxious the teenager was, the smell of his emotions being so strong and thick to Derek's sensible werewolf nose.

"I want to be your model!" Stiles suddenly blurted out, not taking his eyes off of Derek's "I need this. I need to know what I am to the eyes of someone else. I need to feel connected to something, to someone and I want to do that with you, because you're the only person that can understand how hopeless and lost I feel. But of course, I would understand if you like, ripped my throat out this instant for having stalked you and asked you that, but I don't care I had to come here and asked you face to face, like a man instead of staying locked in my room like a kid who's too afraid to take his courage in his hands and..."

"Okay, I'll do it!" Derek said, cutting off his rambling.

"Wow, what? Say that again!" Stiles asked, incredulous.

"I said... I'll do it." Derek repeated, his eyes staring deep into the amber ones of Stiles.

"You'll do it, just like that without even opposing yourself to the idea or threatening to rip my throat out for having discovered your secret?!" Stiles said, surprised, unable to believe Derek was actually agreeing to something he, Stiles Stilinski, had asked him. Something so personal to the man.

"Of course I'm not going to threaten you. Not when I can see how important this is, how much you need my help. And like you said, I can relate. Besides, this is what we do right? Save each other?"

"Okay...hum...thank you, I guess." Stiles almost whispered.

"You're welcome. Now, shut up and eat before it gets too cold!" Derek replied, gesturing at Stiles' plate with his fork.

Stiles did as told, not able to keep his moans of pleasure to himself, damn but Derek Hale could _**cook**_. This was pure orgasm to his mouth he thought. At some point, he caught Derek's amused gaze on him and blushed slightly at the intensity of the man's indefinable eyes. Modeling for him would be such a new thing, full of intensity and surprises, Stiles could already tell that much.

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**_Did you like this chapter, wolvies ?_**

**_Please leave me a comment or kudos so that i know if you enjoyed the fic. I enjoy writing it, you have no idea, so your comments would mean the world to me._**

**_Once again i would like to THANK you Darcy Wolf and Lisa McCooeye for being part of this wonderful adventure and making it this magic._**

**_You can find me on tumblr, for more infos about my work, updates, and so on... you can even leave me messages there if you want, I'll answer them :_**

**_xoxo_**

**_P._**

**_PS : Some of you might recognize this story as I first posted it on AO3 (archive of our own) on my account there SHINHIA. This story is mine and ONLY MINE. I will post it on both websites so do NOT come and tell it's plagia or something as IT'S MINE !_**


	2. Meet Me After School!

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

_**Chapter 2.**_

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_*** Meet me at the loft after school. ***_

Said the text Stiles received from Derek around lunch time, a few days later.

_*** Are greetings lost in your vocabulary? Sourwolf! Noted, I'll be there. ***_

Sitting next to Scott at the lunch table, he pocketed his phone after sending the quick reply. Scott being his old curious self tried to read over Stiles' shoulder, but Stiles didn't give him the time to do so. This was private, his and Derek's secret, and no one, not even his one and only brOTP, could know about this.

Everyone already knew too much about everyone's business, and it had only gotten worse since they had become a solid pack with Scott as a true alpha. But being in the pack didn't mean Stiles couldn't have his own life outside of them; he needed to know he could still breathe on his own.

"Who were you texting?" Scott asked, loud enough that Stiles felt everyones eyes directed in his direction.

"No one!" He answered, happy to feel his heartbeat remain steady, apparently he was getting better at controlling it when lying to wolves.

"Ok..." Scott said, his gaze a bit suspicious. Then he added,

"We're going to the movies after school, you're coming too, right?!"

Stiles felt just a tad guilty when he heard the happy and hopeful tone of his best friend's question, his guilt increasing when he answered,

"No, sorry, I've got something else to do."

"What?" Scott asked, closing up the space between their shoulders, his own now brushing Stiles', the proximity allowing him to sniff the emotional scents Stiles' body was producing.

Needless to say, Stiles thought Scott's new alpha senses where just as creepy as all the other alphas he had known. An even stronger sense of smell must be a 'perk' when you received your upgrade to alpha status, Stiles thought, amused by his own thoughts.

"It's just a thing Scott, okay? Human thing, that I still manage to have aside from the supernatural crazy party we live in." He didn't knew why he felt so protective of his secret, afraid Scott or really anyone would find out.

"Is it a chick?"

"No!"

"A dude then..."

"NO! Shut it, man. It's my own personal business okay, now please, drop it!" Stiles exclaimed, pushing away his barely touch plate. He wasn't hungry anymore, all he wanted was for school to end so he could rush to Derek's loft and lose himself in whatever Derek would want to do for their first meeting.

Scott looked at him silently for a long while, his face serious. Stiles could read curiosity and suspicion in his brown eyes, but he really couldn't care less. Scott needed to learn that him being their alpha didn't mean Stiles would drop everything he liked to do on the side to the profit of the pack sticking together almost all the time. It was becoming suffocating and unnerving to not be able to breathe outside of the pack.

Meeting Derek was the escape he needed, he had needed for quite a long time now. He wasn't about to give it up so that they could all go to the movies, pack style. No, this meant too much for Stiles to ignore his need, to ignore the fact that with Derek back in town he couldn't resist the pull to be with the man!

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At four pm, Stiles left school and drove directly to Derek's, not even bothering to stop at home. He wanted to get to the loft as soon as he possibly could, impatience growing quickly inside him.

Ten minutes (that felt like ten hours) later, Stiles arrived at the loft, not remembering the ride, and wondering just how fast he'd been driving to make such good time. Exhaling slowly, suddenly very aware that this was it, he climbed out of the car and crossed the street.

Stiles tapped in the code, pulled the door open, and rode the elevator to Derek's floor. Then he was walking towards Derek, who was standing in his own doorway, wearing his leather jacket with car keys in hand.

"Hi. How are you?" Stiles said, feeling suddenly quite shy under Derek's intense stare.

"I'm fine, thanks. Are you ready?" Derek asked and Stiles shook his head positively.

"Yeah. Ready!"

"Good, let's go then!"

"Huh... We're not staying here?" Stiles asked unsure of where or what Derek had in mind for their first day together.

"No, we're not. Come on, let's go!" He said, gesturing for Stiles to walk back to the elevator.

Stiles turned and headed back down the hallway, he was curious to know what Derek wanted to do for their first 'get-together'. He noted the absence of any equipment on Derek shoulder and wondered if the guy had already packed everything and put his things in his car.

"So, where are you taking me?" He asked once out of the elevator and the passenger door of Derek's car closed behind him.

"You'll see."

"Dude, I thought you got rid of this baby." Stiles said, stroking the dash. "Seriously, the Rav4 you were driving was so wrong for you; your Sourwolf attitude needs to drive something badass!"

"I never got rid of the Camaro, just put in storage for a while. Cora needed a car so I gave her the Toyota." Derek answered, like his old self sounding pissed at Stiles' ramblings. But Stiles was not buying his act, not anymore, not for a long time actually. He knew perfectly well that it was all just a facade Derek preferred to show than to get real and a possible target if only he showed his real self. But Stiles knew better, knew Derek enough to read the minimal signs of Derek true personality showing.

"Whatever, I still think the Camaro suits you best!" Stiles said, making sure to show his point. "How is Cora by the way?" He asked.

"She's fine. She's happier in New York than she ever was here, anyway. Plus she's getting to finish school peacefully there and then college maybe, we'll see..." Derek answered, his face softening at the thoughts of his baby sister. Stiles stayed silent, just watching the man, touched by the sudden show of emotions on his face, it was like in the blink of an eye Derek looked extremely young; he looked like the twenty-three year old he actually was and not the ten years older he usually did.

"Yeah, it's better for her, I guess. Beacon Hills isn't the calmest place to have a peaceful school life. What about you, though?" Stiles said, feeling more and more comfortable to ask questions, talk to Derek as the car was speeding on the road.

"What about me?" Derek answered his attention on his driving.

"Well, how do you feel now that she's in New York and you... You're back here. You did live together for almost a year, which is big when we know... your history." Stiles said, trying his best to not sound like a nosy brat but to show Derek that his questioning was real and he really did care about the guy.

"I was used to living alone before Cora, I'll get used to it again in no time...I guess." Derek said calmly, his eyes on the road.

Stiles heard and saw Derek's hands tighten on the steering wheel. 'Get used to it...' huh. Stiles wasn't so sure Derek would really get used to that, he knew how much family and pack were important for the guy. He knew that Derek would think he was used to being alone but in reality he'd just become really good at ignoring his feelings.

Stiles, like so many times before, kept his thoughts to himself. He really didn't understand why, but suddenly he felt much more attuned to Derek, really understanding him now when he wouldn't have been able to in the past.

Wanting to change the subject to something less personal and less about him, Derek asked,

"Which of my pictures do you prefer? And what does my work say to you when you look at it?"

Stiles was taken aback by the sudden change of subject, and it took him a few minutes to regain his thoughts and form a clear answer in his head.

"Hmm... That's a tough question but I guess I really loved the masquerade series you did. And all the nudes really, those ones are my favorites. Because it's raw, it's real, there's nothing to hide behind when you're naked! And your work speaks to me in many different ways, for each one of your pictures. I've experienced a million different emotions when I drown myself in them, at first just curiosity cause I desperately needed to know what it was you were doing, then to know more about the part of you that's Darheel Kee and then just to feel! Your work for me is not loud like a slogan or advertising; it's something concrete and real. True. And so honest, that I felt myself lost in it without even noticing what was happening and now I just want to be a tiny piece of that. I want to be a piece of something real and honest too!"

Derek kept silent for a while seeming only interested in where to direct the car. Though the way his eyebrows kept frowning from time to time showed the contrary. Stiles understood that Derek was replaying what he'd said in his head, sorting out things, surely starting to plan the work he would like to do with Stiles. What Stiles didn't expected was the direct question Derek asked him then, turning the music down, his voice louder than the car speakers.

"Tell me about the sacrifice. And how its been to live with the darkness inside you?"

"Wow, dude, jumping right to the personal questions, huh?" Stiles replied, uncomfortable to talk about the sacrifice, what it was to go through it and how he constantly felt since then. He didn't want to spill his guts about all that, not now, not ever if he could manage it. He'd really prefer to act like nothing had happened, ignore the problem and wish it would just disappear on its own.

Derek kept silent for awhile seeming only interested in where to direct the car. Though the way his eyebrows kept frowning from time to time showed the contrary. Stiles understood that Derek was replaying what he jut said in his head, sorting out things, already starting to plain the work he would like to do with Stiles. What Stiles didn't expected was the direct question Derek asked him, turning the music down, his voice louder than the car speakers.

"So... Are you gonna tell me? About everything that scares you? Ignoring your problems won't make them go away, Stiles." Derek added, the car suddenly coming to a stop, its engine dying slowly. Stiles finally noticed they were parked in the Preserve and facing the old Hale House. It still looked the same, burnt and sadly terrifying but Stiles had always felt empathy for the old mansion, a soft spot in his heart warming to the sight of it every time he found himself in this place.

"What's the point of me telling you about those things anyway?" Stiles answered, feeling hopeless, angered and scared all at the same time, the scent of his increasing discomfort slowly filling the air in the car, making him even more jittery than usual. The small space inside of the car was suddenly too small, too close around him, too suffocating, so he burst out of the Camaro.

Derek got out of the car too, and slowly approached Stiles. He got near enough to hear the soft ramble of his whispering as he passed back and forth in front of Derek. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, Derek knew he couldn't stay quiet for too long. If he wanted this to work then he had to push Stiles, push him so far that his only choice would be to finally open up to him. He knew it wasn't fair, exposing Stiles this way, but like most things in it, life wasn't fair.

"If you want us to be able to work together, seriously work together, then you're gonna have to open up to me, Stiles. You're going to have to trust me. With this, and with a lot of other things or else this will be awkward and a waste of time for the both of us!"

"So you do this with all your models?! Ask them about their personal demons?!" Stiles blurted, unable to control his shaking hands.

"Not always, but I do if my work demands it. And here, I think it's necessary."

"Don't you get that these are things I don't want to talk about? That I don't want to think about?!"

"What I get is that you're letting your fears get in the way of what you want, when I'm the one at a disadvantage."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Stiles asked, stopping his back and forth passing, his body suddenly very still when his eyes met Derek's serious ones. No, Derek wasn't joking.

"It means that you know a LOT about me, Stiles. I'm familiar with your research skills; I know you probably spent the last three months tracking down any small obscure detail about my crappy life, and that you could probably tell my story better then I could. You were the first to figure out the truth about Laura, and Kate. You even know about Paige."

At the mention of Paige, Stiles completely froze, his eyes going wide. He didn't know, hadn't thought that Derek would find out that Stiles had heard the story. That he knew Derek had made a mistake and it had cost him the life of his first love.

"Yeah! And I'm not denying anything, even though I would have preferred if you had heard about them from me, and we can talk about all that later, if you want, but right now this is about you.

"I know how it feels like I'm being indiscreet and pushing things, but it's because I want to know who you truly are. I want to talk about what's keeping you from trusting me. So stop shutting me out because you're scared and instead make the effort to trust me. Tell me your first name, about the sacrifice, about the darkness, about how you're unable to sleep since you died and came back to life, and tell me about your mother."

"No! This is too much, way too much! I don't want to do this, okay? I've changed my mind. I trust you enough to take my picture but these things are private. These things are way too... No! I'm sorry but no!"

"If you can't trust me enough to tell me about your life, then how are you going to be able to trust me when I ask you to take off your shirt. To get naked in front of me and put yourself in situations or positions that require trust between us. How are you going to be able to drop your mask for me to shoot the real you, to reveal who you truly are to my lens if you won't trust me with your most intimate secrets? You already know all of mine, Stiles!" Derek said, now standing so close to Stiles that their chests were practically touching.

Stiles lost himself in Derek's surprising greenish eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, cheeks bright red, but he just couldn't, he was incapable of doing what Derek was asking of him. He just couldn't. Instead he choose to act on his nerves and said, his voice sounding strangely very deep to his own ears :

"You know what...this was a stupid idea. I don't even know why I asked you to do it in the first place! Can you take me back please?"

"You're running away." Derek simply said, causing Stiles' blush to deepen.

"Fuck you!" Stiles spat. How dare Derek say that to him. "Please just take me back to your place so I can get my jeep and go home; we can pretend this never happened."

"If that's what you really want."

"Yes, it's what I really want." Stiles added, voice filled with bitterness.

Derek sighed deeply, and not saying anything else he moved back around the car, sliding back behind the wheel. Stiles was already sitting on the passenger seat silently, arms crossed over his chest. Then the car was leaving the Preserve and going back through town. When they arrived at the loft Derek parked in his usual parking spot and turned off the ignition. Stiles finally came back to life, going to open the door, but Derek's soft murmur of his name stopped him long enough to listen to him talk,

"If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."

Stiles climbed out of the car, Derek imitating him. Their eyes met over the car rooftop and Derek said,

"Goodbye, Stiles."

Nodding his head only, Stiles turned around to go to his car. He climbed into the Jeep and turned the ignition over. He couldn't stop himself from glancing back to Derek's building. The man was already in the entrance, still watching Stiles from the door, their eyes met one last time and then Stiles drove off.

* * *

_**And that was chapter two, people.**_

_**So did you like it ?**_

_**What about letting my know in a review, i'll be happy to read your feedbacks.**_

_**Next chapter will be up Thursday.**_

_**Xoxo**_

_**P.**_

_**PS : you can come find me on tumblr ! **_


	3. And then came Lyda Martin

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

_**Author :**_ Pussicats (Tomoyuki)

_**Title : Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

_**Genre :**_ Photography, Romance, Nudity, Lemon, angst.

_**Rating :**_ M+

_**Pairing :**_ Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

_**Disclaimer :**_ Neither of the show or characters belongs to me, all are the property of MTV and Jeff Davis. Only the others are MINE.

_**A/N : As i missed thursday's post because of Halloween i'm posting chapters 3 & 4 today, to make up for it. Enjoy, wolvies!**_

* * *

_****__**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**__  
_

_**Chapter 3.**_

Hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks, and every minute of it was torture for Stiles. But he didn't reached out for Derek, he couldn't. He kept replaying the words the man had told him, over and over. He knew deep down that Derek was right; to work together, for him to be at ease in the presence of Derek, they needed trust. Trust was essential to their 'relationship'.

Yes, _**trust**_ was the key. And the craziest thing was, he knew he could trust Derek. If there was someone, other than his dad and Scott of course, that he knew he could trust, it was Derek. Even if it kinda hurt him to admit it. Derek, since that very first day in the Preserve, had never once really hurt him and always did everything to keep Stiles safe, always got in the way to protect Stiles. So, really, he knew he could trust the guy.

But, _why was it easier to trust Derek with his life_ than to trust him with his most intimates secrets ?

Derek hadn't been lying; Stiles knew a great deal about the older man, probably more than he should, but Stiles had always been a nosy brat and he was never content with just the apparent facts, he had to search deep to get to the unknown information.

That was why he'd discovered the truth about Kate, because he hadn't been able to stop until it all made sense. He discovered how Kate had succeeded in approaching Derek, filling in the blanks as best he could about how she must have flirted with him, how after the heartbreak over Paige he'd been an easy target. She had convinced him to let her into his house, to show her around, and after a night spent together – just the thought made Stiles feel the need to take a shower – he'd gone off to school and she'd trapped his family inside their home and set his house on fire.

He'd learned about Paige from Peter, so who knew how accurate that information was, but it was enough to fill in a few more of the holes Stiles saw when thinking about Derek. He really wanted to ask Derek about what had happened but there hadn't been an opportunity.

And he'd found out Laura was not only the Hale alpha but an almost exact replica of her mother, having inherited all Talia's powers and more. And how she had been the one pushing Derek to show the world his pictures.

So yeah, he knew more about Derek than he did about Allison or Danny or even Jackson. And still Derek had trusted him more than once, showing Stiles that he respected and cared enough about the boy to put his life, his pack's lives and so much more again in his hands. It was only normal now that Derek wanted to get to know Stiles the more, the best he could, right.

_So why was he so scared of **trusting** Derek? Why was he so afraid to let him in, to tell him everything?_

And then he could see it; what he feared the most wasn't revealing his secrets, but the look he would see in the man's eyes, the thoughts that would cloud his mind, and then his ability to judge him. How Stiles wouldn't be able to stop it from happening. And DAMN, but he was so scared of that. Scared that how Derek saw him, the image he had of him would change drastically in the end.

He was lost, totally lost and didn't know what to do or how to act when it came to Derek and all these new problems and feelings. He wished he could talk about all of this with his dad, but he really didn't want him to know that he was about to go play model for Derek, a man five years older than him, and let him take nude pictures of him. He could already see his dad's cruiser in front of the loft, his dad coming out of the building leading Derek in handcuffs to the police car. No, been there done that, and it was not something he wanted to see again.

This was between Derek and himself, and he had to decide if he had the balls to let his guard down and talk, really talk, to Derek.

He jumped out of his skin when the loud sound of a plate meeting the lunch table tore him from his endlessly rambling thoughts. Lifting his eyes he stayed silent watching Lydia standing in front him, wearing her 'I know something's wrong with you and boy, you're going to talk!' expression. Stiles turned his head from left to right, searching for the others, but no one was in sight; it was him and Lydia against the world, or in this case the entire school.

"Okay, you're going to talk to me, Stilinski! What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, opening her water bottle, and peeling her banana like there was nothing going on.

"What do you mean, what's wrong with me!" Stiles exclaimed, only receiving a bored gaze in response, clearly stating she knew better and wasn't buying it. Stiles sighs heavily, knowing he wouldn't be able to stop Lydia from putting her cute nose in his personal issues.

"You've been a mess for weeks now. The dark circles under your eyes are worse than normal, you've been placing yourself in the corner of any room I see you in, and Scott keeps asking me if I know what's wrong with you. It's really getting on my nerves. So, either you tell me what's wrong or I force it out of you, and you know how I can be..."

"And to think I had a crush on you for all those years!" Stiles said.

"Ignorance is bliss! Besides, your face is doing this weird thing..."

"Okay, okay, I'm gonna talk but this stays between you and me only, no talking about it with Jackson, cause yeah I know you guys are still in contact, or with Allison or your creepy new boy toy!"

Lydia put her right hand over her heart, showing the secret would die with her. And Stiles mentally thanked her for that, exhaling slowly he started talking about how he had found where Derek was all this months ago, what he had discovered was Derek profession, and then all the rest : falling in love for the artist, cause yeah he had indeed fall for Darheel Kee, then, he told her how he went to see Derek when he had got back to town, told her about the diner they ate together, the proposition he made to the man and how is answer was positive. Then he told her about the drive in the woods and how they fought because Stiles was enable to trust Derek enough to let him get to know him better, and how he had finally said this had been a terrible idea from the start, concluding by the last words Derek had told him.

"And Now, I'm lost because I really don't know what to do, this means a fucking lot to me you understand, and Derek is the only person that can help me right now, but I don't know how let my guard down when we're together, it's like the walls are even stronger when I'm with him. I can totally trust him with saving my ass, but when it comes to something more personal it's like I'm totally paralyzed and my only way out is using sarcasm and pushing him away. I really don't know what to do, I really don't, Lydia."

Lydia kept silent for a while, eating slowly her dish, then finally she put her fork down and crossed her hand under her chin, eyes boring into those of Stiles.

"You're keeping yourself from living a crazy experience and finding a cure to your '_mal-être_' only by fear. The answer to your problem is simple you know..."

"Simple how?"

"Grow a pair of balls, Stilinski. Seriously, don't you get it? Derek's already done half the work here, he's trusted you over and over again, enough that he didn't even oppose it when you asked to work with him. He offered you the opportunity to start opening up to him, and you shoved him away. And then instead of being pissed and telling you to go to hell, he still cared enough to tell you that he would still be willing to work with you if you changed your mind.

"Stiles, Derek isn't asking you to spill your guts all at once but to make the effort of showing him you trust him enough to start with little things like your real name or what's your favorite drink at the coffee shop, what's your favorite song, and so on... That's how you start to show someone they mattered enough that you're willing to let them to get to know you. Plus, Derek's a photographer getting to know his model, get intimate with them I that way is part of his work too.

"I haven't seen his work, so I don't really know how what kind of an artist he is, but for his work to be true and honest like you describe it, don't you think knowing the person he's shooting would be the biggest part of the job? How will he be able to take the kind of pictures you're looking for if you don't give him the opportunity to show what's really hidden inside of you? Not the sarcastic personality we all know you prefer to hide behind, but the real you, the Stiles Stilinski we know is amazing and worthy of the attention."

Stiles was speechless, he didn't know what to say after that. He hadn't even known that that was how Lydia saw him. What was there even to say, really? Lydia look him in the eyes once more and added :

"Start slowly, go see him, talk to him about anything, who cares as long as you're trying. Take the first step towards him, make him understand you're willing to work hard enough to make this work, that you could both do something amazing. But that'll only happen if you're trying hard enough to make it happen, Stiles. Derek can't do all the work for you, it has to come from you too. I'm gonna let you think this over, I see Aidan over there.

She got up, taking her empty plate with her to put him on the sorting trolley. She turned towards him and mouthed :

"Don't let fear blow your chances!" And then she was gone with her boyfriend.

Stiles watched them from far away, he had barely touched his plate and didn't feel like eating anything at all. No, what he truly wanted to do was go see Derek. He needed the man. Oh god, he needed him! The rush of fear and panic that flowed through him scared him even more and his heart seized at the thought of letting Derek in. But Lydia had clearly seen what it meant for him to get close to someone, to get close to Derek. He needed that connection like a drowning man craves air. And Stiles had felt like he was drowning for far too long now. It was time for him to regain the surface... Time for him to allow Derek to give him that air.

* * *

_**So how did you found this chapter?**_

_**Let me know in a review, it's always cool to receive your thoughts;**_

_**See ya next chapter wolvies.**_

_**xoxo**_

_**P.**_


	4. It takes courage

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

_**Chapter 4.**_

* * *

He parked in front of the building, shaking all over, and thinking once again that he was crazy to follow Lydia's advice. But here he was, and now that he was here he couldn't go backwards. He was brave enough to do this.

Getting out of the car he crossed the street, went into the building, took the elevator and found himself knocking on Derek's door. He didn't wait long for the door to open, Derek facing him silent and wearing his usual poker face. Finally, he let out a deep breath and said, meeting the green orbs that were Derek's eyes,

"I thought about what you said, and... I'm willing to try!"

And that was it; such simple words left him feeling relieved now that he'd said them.

"Come in." Derek said, getting out of the way and showing him the loft.

Stiles entered, brushing past Derek and couldn't hold back the shiver that ran over his skin or control his quickening heartbeat when his nose caught his scent. He heard Derek close the door behind him, then saw the man go to turn the music down, a book was laying open on the couch.

"I never would have imagined you listening to Jessie J while reading." Stiles said, a surprised smile on his face.

"I listen to a lot of things." Derek answered, turning towards the him.

And just like that Stiles felt nervous as hell all over again but, hey, he'd done most of the hard work by coming here.

"So...I guess you've thought things through."

"Um...yeah I did. But I have some conditions!" He said.

Derek crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his eyebrows in a perfect 'No kidding. I'm so _**not**_ fucking surprised!'

"Ok first, no expressive killer eyebrows while I'm spilling my guts here, it's already fucking hard enough as it is."

Derek kept silent going to sit down on the couch. Stiles felt like pacing back and forth would be a good way to calm himself while speaking;

"So, yeah, I thought about what you said and you were right. This isn't gonna work if I keep shying away every time it gets too personal. You were right to say I'm scared. I'm so scared its scarily scary! Hell, I would take any Kanimas or alphas that pass by right now if it could keep me from having to talked about me. But like you said it's not gonna work if I don't open up to you and yes, I know a lot about you but from strangers only, not from you. So I think that the only way for us to make this experience work is if we both share things. Together. I mean I'll talk but you'll have to talk too. So that we learn more about each other at the same time."

"Okay. I'm alright with that." Derek said, his eyes meeting Stiles'. He understood then that Stiles was scared of his judgment, something that hadn't occurred to him before, but now could read it clearly on his face. "Take off your shoes and socks and come with me."

Stiles looked skeptical at first but did as told, following Derek to the staircase leading to the upstairs part of the loft. Stiles had never stepped foot in that part before, so it was a total surprised for him to see it now.

The upstairs was the same big open space than the downstairs was except that it was sun bathed and divided into three spaces. First was the main open space where Derek had arranged a big photography area, and then the back housed two rooms with frosted glass walls, one the bedroom Cora used to live in and the other looked like a second bathroom. This part of the loft looked warmer than the downstairs, the main color being white for the shooting studio. Stiles could see shades of warm purples and blues through the frosted glass, the only permanent traces of Cora left in the loft.

"Come over here." Derek said to him, his voice sounding more relax and softer than Stiles had ever heard it before. Was it being far away from Beacon Hills for six months or the fact that the atmosphere between them was strangely more relaxed and peaceful that caused these changes in Derek? Stiles didn't know the answer but he liked that Derek seemed to be calm enough in his presence to let a part of his guard down. One more show of the willingness the man was putting into this.

Stiles approached Derek, unsure of what to do. Derek grabbed his hand to lead him to the middle of the shooting area, and if Stiles felt his hand tingle at the touch he kept it to himself, enjoying that Derek felt comfortable enough for such impulsive touches. It left Stiles feel strangely warm.

"Stand here. Relax." Derek said still using that gentle tone. Locking eyes and with a soft smile at the corner of his lips, he added,

"And breathe, you're safe here. With me."

And Stiles knew he was, he'd known the instant Derek had opened his door.

"Now close your eyes."

Stiles looked at Derek for a long second, unsure if he wanted to go along with that or not, but something reassuring in the man's green eyes pushed him to close his own.

"I won't hurt you." Derek almost whispered to him.

"I know..." Stiles answered, cause he knew deep down in his heart that Derek could never, would never hurt him. Not intentionally at least. So he closed his eyes, breathing in and out trying to calm his raging heartbeat. He felt nervous and hyper aware of the moment, his feelings deepening when he felt the brush of air left by Derek when he moved away, then when he heard him coming back near him. He felt him move around his back and then something soft was being tied up around his head.

"A b-blindfold?" He asked.

"I figured, you'll be more comfortable talking to me if you don't have to look at me while doing it."

It was clever of Derek and Stiles felt even more touched to witness that even if he had fled like a scared puppy and not reached out to Derek for a little more than two weeks, the man had still thought about Stiles and found solutions to help him get past his fears.

"I know what it's like, how consuming it is when you're afraid of judgment. I had to live with that feeling all my life, being so different from humans. It's even more terrifying to open up to someone with whom you have experienced really strong emotions and traumatizing situations like we have." Derek spoke softly, moving silently to put on some music. The music was soft and soothed his constant nervousness. Suddenly Derek was back in his personal space, placing himself close to his back.

Stiles felt hands come from behind him to lay on the zipper of his light blue hoodie, being shushed when he started to ask what Derek was doing. The hands held him for a few minutes before moving to unzip the hoodie he was wearing slowly enough to give him the option of stopping if he felt too uncomfortable. Stiles didn't stopped Derek though, he let the man unzip his zipper completely, then take it off with attentive gestures. With the second layer Derek took off, his navy and turquoise checkered shirt, he started talking.

"Being a photographer is being able to reveal what's under the surface of simple things or people masks. It's creating a bond between you and your model, understanding them the best you can to put to light what they're made of, who they are and were. You can't just pick up a camera and take pictures and hope you'll get a great result by photo shopping your pictures. You have to make the effort of understanding your model, of studying him, of listening to him if you want to be able to capture his essence."

The warm air of the loft hitting his skin, caused goosebumps to form on Stiles' arms.

"That's what needs to happen here, Stiles, for this to work. It's going to feel like I'm undressing you, caressing the lines of your body, drawing your features. My camera will be my eyes, drinking in the sight of you before me. It will get so intimate sometimes, that you won't be able to tell where I start and you end, only that we're mixing together... Sometimes it will be so intense, that you'll be aroused, that we'll both be aroused by what's being created in those intimate moments."

Stiles felt his heat beat faster and faster as he listened to Derek's low voice. His skin covered in goosebumps over and over again whenever Derek's warm fingers brushed against his skin. Now running up and down his arms and making him shiver.

"And when you're finally naked in front of me, it will be comfortable because of the trust we'll have built. Because of what we will have already experienced to get to that point. Then you'll be able to let me take the really suggestive pictures, like lying spread out on my bed, legs open wide, your body totally exposed to my eyes."

'MINE!' Burned hot through Derek's mind but he controlled himself.

His t-shirt, the last barrier keeping Derek from seeing him half naked, suddenly disappeared. He felt Derek's hands slide under the hem of his shirt, fingers brushing the sensible skin of his hips and abdomen before the fabric was slowly lifted, fingers still brushing as they went further up. By instinct he lifted his arms and the last thing his brain registered was Derek finally getting the shirt totally off of him.

Stiles felt more vulnerable than ever in this position. Vulnerable, nervous and incredibly turned on. His breathe catching in his throat when Derek went to touch his back, tracing his spinal cord with the tip of one finger, playing a long second in between his kidneys on his lower back. Then the hands, fingers were all over his front. Going from his chest, to stomach to abdomen, circling his now erected nipples. The hot breathe of Derek blowing on his neck making him shake violently. God but this felt so good.

"I'm going to steal every part of you, Stiles. I want to imprison your soul on my pictures. I want this to be my life's work, because you challenge me, you understand me, and you trust me. Together we're going to be amazing."

"Derek..." Stiles whispered, unable to keep silent. This moment felt so vivid. So... It was so intense he couldn't find his words. His breath caught in his throat when Derek places his lips against his right ear.

"Now, you're gonna sit down, and answer my questions while I take a few pictures. Okay?"

"O...okay." Stiles said, shaking. Helped by Derek he sat on the floor against one of the loft's exposed brick walls, trying to control the storm that was his feelings.

Derek grabbed his Nikon camera and came back to sit facing Stiles. The boy was shaking, lips parted. Derek could see his chest heave violently as Stiles tried to control the overwhelming turmoil happening inside of him. Derek didn't wasted time, and took that first picture, the one of the highly sensitive man that he was.

"What's your name?" Derek asked quietly, preferring to go slow. He didn't wanted to scare Stiles away again, to make him run. He had already succeeded in touching Stiles, in getting him naked from the waist up. It, along with a few questions would be enough for today.

"My real name is Genim, named after my mom's dad." Stiles answered softly, still with his eyes closed.

"Genim." Derek said, trying it out, trying to picture using it when talking to Stiles. He couldn't really, but he liked it.

Stiles felt warm all over when he heard his name roll so perfectly off the man's tongue. Trying not to imagine the way it would sound if his voice was kiss roughened.

"Thank you for telling me." Derek said softly.

"My name is Derek Vincent Hale. Vincent was the name of my father's twin brother. He was killed by hunters long before I was born, so my parents choose to name me after him to honor his memory."

And this is how an invisible bond started forming itself between them, them not even being aware of it. The road would be long for the both of them, but together it would be easier to travel it, than doing the journey alone.

* * *

_**And... that's it for this weekend wolvies!**_

_**I'll post next chapter on thursday, like usual.**_

_**Hope you liked this chapters;**_

_**Please let me know in a review.**_

_**xoxo**_

_**P.**_

_**Ps (my tumblr): **_


	5. Photo Shoots

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

* * *

_**Chapter 5.**_

They began with small things; first the exchange of their names, then small fun facts about their families. They continued to get to know each other over the month, talking about their favorite things, places they had gone, things they had seen and done, and about things they still wanted to see and do.

They started out seeing each other once or twice a week, and by the end of the month they were together almost every day. They met up to take pictures of course, but also to review the photos, and to talk about new photo shoot ideas. And some days just to hang out, playing video games or watching TV or a movie or even just reading in companionable silence. Other days they talked, sharing themselves, getting to know each other better.

Their first shoot, with the blindfold, had been the trigger Stiles needed to loosen up and open himself to Derek. Let the man in enough to know it was okay to _**trust**_, okay to _**talk**_ with someone that actually could understand him more than he'd thought he ever would and who, contrary to what he'd feared, never once judged him. Stiles had kept the blindfold on his face a long time after the exchange of their names, until he'd felt secure enough to take it off and keep talking, looking into Derek's eyes and camera. He'd felt a bit shy being that exposed to the man but somehow, felt relieved to finally let go of his many barriers and have someone to share things with, have someone to hear him, listen to him and be there for what really mattered the most, for what he could have never talked about in the past, because no one could get him the way Derek did.

Their relationship reached a new level of confidence a week after the blindfold experience, when Stiles answered Derek's questions about his ADHD while they'd worked on a shooting session of portraits.

And for the rest of the month after, Derek kept surprising Stiles, not warning him before grabbing his camera and clicking away, capturing some very emotional moments. He was always ready to take pictures of Stiles.

Derek answered his questions too, most of them anyway. There were still some things he wasn't willing to open up about, but instead of pushing Stiles away, he asked him to keep track of the questions, hopeful that one day he'd be able to.

That's how they had come to talk about Paige. Stiles told Derek the story Peter had told him and Cora about the cello-playing girl. Stiles confessed to not believing Peter's version of events, to having a lot of doubts on how things had taken place.

"I wanted to come and ask you about it. I had it all planned out in my head, but then I saw you, and I couldn't make myself ask. I couldn't cause you any more pain."

Derek had been touched by Stiles' honesty, touched by how Stiles had understood, _easily_, that most of what Peter had told them was untrue, the man twisting history to his advantage like always. And Derek decided it was time to tell Stiles himself, time to share the real story. It meant leaving himself emotionally naked to Stiles' eyes.

"She was a lot like you, you know. Maybe that's why I had a hard time being around you at first; you remind me of her. You're both thin but strong, brunette, with eyes that show everything you're feeling, and moles dotting your skin. She had one under her left eye that made her even more beautiful. You're both smart and mouthy, and get on my nerves. She had a temper, and just like you, she didn't put up with any of my shit."

The revelation had shaken Stiles to the core, and when he left the loft later that night, the conversation echoed in his head, leaving him heartbroken.

The feeling of loss in Derek's voice at that moment had been so intense that Stiles had been unable to do anything but keep looking into the man's green eyes. Somehow, learning more about who Derek really was changing his outlook on werewolves or any supernatural creatures born that way. It was like being cursed before you were even born, like everything in your life was supposed to be taken from you one day. That was the case with Derek Hale, and Stiles hurt for the teenager that he once was, in love and trusting that he could keep her at his side forever.

_ Why was it like that that for weres? Why was it that, when you fell in love you had to_ _pay the price in life afterwards?_

Stiles wanted to bring happiness to Derek, give him the possibility of closure because the situation with Paige was still an open wound, Derek's eyes had told him so. Stiles wanted to be the one to put a bandage on that wound. He wanted to be the one to save Derek from his own personal hell. He wanted to give back what Derek gave him every time they saw each other.

He knew deep down he could be that person, he knew he had enough will to be that one special person. And he was going to do everything he could to succeed!

To lighten the mood after the emotional moment, Derek had decided to show Stiles the results of their third photo shoot, one they'd done in the Preserve the Saturday prior to their _'Paige'_ talk. Derek asking Stiles' opinion, wanting to know which ones spoke to him. They settled on one of each, and Derek started a folder on his laptop that he'd send to Stiles later so he'd have copies. Then they looked at the candids he'd been taking randomly. Stiles liked these best because they showed a side of himself he didn't know he had, but he also had a hard time accepting that it was himself he was looking at. He looked so _different_ from what he thought he looked like, so real and so vulnerable. It scared him.

Derek, seeing the emotions playing across his face, had no trouble understanding the turmoil Stiles was experiencing in that moment. He decided it was time to share his own opinions, to tell Stiles what he saw.

"Stiles... What is it?"

"Nothing. It's... nothing really. It's just that...I…"

"You're having a hard time dealing with the pictures."

"Yeah. I just seem so... different. Like it's not me I'm looking at, but someone else that looks like me." He looked at Derek to see if he was following Stiles' train of thought. He was.

"But it's not someone else. It's you. It's the _real_ you in those pictures, Stiles. The mouthy, hyperactive, annoying brat, who is also loyal, smart and brave, willing to risk his life for the people he loves."

"Yeah, I know. I get that, but how can I look so…"

"Beautiful?"

"Yeah. I'm not beautiful. I'm skinny, clumsy and far away from anything related to beauty." He argued.

"You let yourself believe what other people said about you, but you should have more faith in who you are, in what you really look like. Because to me, you're so much more than what you think you are. This..." Derek said pointing at the picture on the screen of his laptop,

"You have no idea how hypnotic you are on film, Stiles. How intense and emotional and _real _you are deep down inside. How attractive you are. These pictures, they're only a reflection of who you already are. I wish you would understand that, and accept it."

Stiles kept silent, touched by Derek's declaration. Speechless that that was how the man really saw him. Stiles still had difficulties believing every word, but he couldn't argue with what he saw in Derek's eyes; honesty.

* * *

Stiles was starting to think lunch time was Lydia Martin's favorite time of the day to come and grill him about Derek and what it was they were doing together.

Part of him felt annoyed by the girl's intrusive attitude. And the other part felt relieved to have someone to be able to talk to about the situation, someone to give him advice. And let's be honest, Lydia was the best when it came to giving advice!

Speak of the devil, Stiles thought when a 5'3" strawberry blond banshee sat in front of him, a smirk on the corner of her full lips covered in hot pink lipstick;

"Stilinski!"

"Martin!" He answered. This had become their own personal way of greeting each other.

"So?" She said her eyes boring into his.

"So what?!" Stiles asked, enjoying watching her be annoyed by his feigned ignorance of what she wanted and was here for.

"Cut it, Stiles and speak!"

"You know, you can't force me to spill my guts to you whenever you want."

"Oh please, you would only come and find me later anyway. So talk. What's on your mind, did something happen with Derek?"

Straight to the point like usual, Stiles noted, a small smile on his lips.

He didn't want to talk about Paige with Lydia. Besides Cora, and she had only heard Peter's version, no one except him knew about her and it was private, something between only him and Derek but the man's last words still haunted him.

Truth is Stiles knew he was falling deeper and deeper when he was with Derek and he could feel it, his feelings growing slowly for the man and that was pretty scary.

"You like him, don't you?" Lydia stated, stealing fries from his plate.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Hiding behind denial won't change the fact that you're falling for him, Stiles. And by the look on your face I can tell you're falling hard, am I wrong?"

"I...I... Let's talk about you and Aidan instead. How's it going with your alpha boy?"

"Nice try, Stilinski. But fine, I won't push it if you don't want to talk about that. Instead tell me about your third photo shoot, what did you guys do!?"

Lydia asked, bending over the table a bit more, curiosity painted on her beautiful face. Stiles suppressed a big sigh. To think, he'd once prayed that such a beauty would one day see him and fall head over heels. Now, he got why they would never have that kind of relationship.

"The shoot was great; Derek took us out into the woods and we used a bunch of really cool masquerade masks. He planned out these amazing concepts for pictures based on the four elements. We started shooting just after noon, and worked long into the night. Then he insisted I go back to his place to look over some of the shots we'd taken, and he cooked us breakfast. Oh my god, Lyds, he's the best cook, like not even a cook, more like a _chef_!"

She kept silent, smiling tenderly. What joy and relief it was to see Stiles so excited about something again. To see his eyes animated by the flame of life again and not empty like the ghost he'd been before Derek came back to town.

A month had passed already, and the changes were surprising. Lydia would never have thought, in the past, that Derek Hale could be so good, so positive for Stiles in any way, but the reality was that Derek was actually the best thing to happen to Stiles since the sacrifice. Not even Scott could compare, could give Stiles what he craved, being too wrapped up in his new alpha status, his new responsibilities, and the Allison/Isaac situation.

"You know, somehow I'm not really surprised. Derek Hale is hot, let's be honest, and I've always thought there was this incredible sexual tension between the two of you whenever you've been in the same room!"

"Stop right there, Lydia Martin!" Stiles exclaimed lifting his right hand to mark his exclamation. He didn't want to listen to her, talking about him and Derek and fucking sexual tension, really... NO!

"I'm just saying, that's all!" She said shrugging. "So... When am I going to be able to see what you guys have already done?"

Stiles smiled, taking his phone out of his jeans, he taped on the screen a few times before giving the phone to Lydia, making sure no one around was able to see the pictures displayed on the screen.

Lydia grabbed the phone, and took her time to look at each picture with great attention. She was speechless for a while; the truth was the pictures were breath taking.

The first ten were portraits of Stiles from their second session and after, taken in different lighting, positions, and places around the loft, but what made their intensity so catching was the expressions, the raw feelings, the look Stiles had in them. It went from surprised in the first one, Stiles had said he'd been caught off guard, to honesty in the second, then joy, sadness, the lost expression, the troubled and hard look now so common on the teens face since he'd been resurrected. And finally the last picture, one of Stiles showing who he really was, displaying the honest and sheer expression of the highly sensitive person that he was inside and that one portrait cut Lydia somewhere deep inside.

Moving her thumb on the screen she came across the last pictures Derek had taken, the ones of the Masquerade shoot. They represented the four elements, and showed Stiles in a dark blue, close to black, military uniform with a different mask in each picture, and using the scenery to make the shots come alive.

The first one was _**Water**_, where Stiles was posing knee deep in the middle of a small clearing, his pants rolled up to his knees, the top five buttons of the white shirt he wore under his uniform vest, open on his pale chest. He was standing half turned towards the camera, shooting through the water surface with his right foot, the sun illuminating him from behind, it's light reflecting in the water drops, making them shine like diamonds all around Stiles. The mask he wore was made of silk, in shades of blue, green and silver, ornamented with see through, clear crystal beads. The mask was really elegant and effortless at the same time. Just like the picture was. It looked like Stiles was a mermaid or some other aquatic creature coming out of nowhere and appearing in front of your eyes for mere seconds before disappearing back to his aqueous world.

The second masquerade picture, _**Earth**_, had been taken from above and took place in a secluded part of the Preserve. Judging by the light it was late afternoon, but the area was dark and a mist was creeping across the ground, turning the forest a purplish blue-grey color. The result was a strange effect; a dark, twisting shadow and all the trees shielding the ground from the sky's light. The dirt was covered by dead leaves all around, looking almost indigo in this lighting. Coming out of the ground were hundreds of daffodils, their yellow petals piercing the dark halo like bright lights in their surroundings. Amongst them lay Stiles, his vest and shirt open on his chest and stomach, one button of the shirt still done over his diaphragm. The dark hair of his happy trail, starting from his belly button and disappearing into his pants, created a black path on the white skin of his stomach. His right hand, stained by dirt, rested just under the button, still holding his shirt in place, his thumb laced with the fabric, the rest of his fingers slightly curled on the pale skin bare to the eye. On his chest were delicate moles, catching your eye without effort. His left arm was laying on the ground, curling around his head, his hand staying open, palm up it's lines darkened by dirt. Finally, the boy held his head slightly turned towards the hollow of his arm, his eyes looking right through the lens of the camera. The mask he was wearing resembled those small delicate venetian masks, but here was only made of lace. Pure white, pale yellow and hints of bright yellow threads, remembering the colors of the daffodils, all linked together and softly caressing the skin of Stiles' face. His gaze piercing like never before, his long lashes looking black around the shapes of his eyes.

Lydia had trouble suppressing the shudder that came over her at the sight of that picture.

The next picture,_ Air_, showed Stiles standing on big a rock, overlooking Beacon Hills, the city extending itself in the horizon at his feet. That picture had been taken at sundown, the last minutes of it and licking twilight. You could already see the lights of the town lighting up, like a million little candles lighting at the same time and drawing a constellation of bright dots, like stars, in the scenery. The mask Stiles wore was jet black, it's material looking soft and deep like velvet, covering half of Stiles' face, his forehead barely visible behind small gradient black to midnight blue feathers. Wind was blowing gently, giving some movement to the boy's hair and feathers on the mask. The only point of light in the mask was the almond shape contouring Stiles' whiskey-brown eyes. Specks of gold covered the entire shape and brought out Stiles' eyes incredibly. In this picture he looked like a king, a sleek silver sword in his left hand pointing at the ground. Reigning on the night itself and Beacon Hills at his feet serving him like a king's subjects. Stiles was half naked in this picture, his dark blue, almost black, pants riding low on his hips, and Lydia was actually really surprised by the chiseled chest, broad shoulders and the perfectly defined abs Stiles had. She'd never imagined him to have such a beautiful and slenderly muscled body under his large clothes, she'd only ever thought him to be a skinny, rangy kid. To say that was she surprised was an understatement!

"So? What do you think?" Stiles asked, tearing her out of her thoughts. She was still speechless and she looked at him with wide eyes, her mouth slightly open trying to formulate all the thoughts clouding her mind at that very moment.

"I...I...really don't know what to say! I'm speechless, Stiles. Seriously. These are breath taking. Derek is so talented and you are..."

"What, stupid, hideous, a waste of film?" Stiles said, trying to joke, when in fact he felt really concerned about what Lydia though.

"No! No, you don't look stupid at all, Stiles. On the contrary, you look so..." She fell silent, searching her extensive vocabulary for the right words to describe Stiles like she saw him in those pictures,

"Mesmerizing!" She said. "You're mesmerizing, Stiles! Stunning! And real!"

"Well...um! Thanks... I guess. But it's really all Derek's work, I just stand in front of him while he shoots."

"True, Derek deserves praise for the positions and lighting but his camera can't fake these expressions, Stiles. I can feel the emotions _you_ were feeling when he was taking these pictures, you have such a presence, a realness that wouldn't be there if it wasn't coming from you in the first place! You really need to learn how to take a compliment!"

Stiles didn't say anything as she gave him back his phone and his gaze fell on the last picture. Derek had chosen to call it 'The Protector' because he felt the picture told the story of 'Stiles, the Protector of the town', protecting the people of Beacon Hills from monsters. Stiles had joked that it was fitting since he was always the one saving the werewolves when shit hit the fan.

Stiles thought of when Derek had showed him the pictures, how he had had a hard time dealing with what came out of them. Today, he still had a hard time believing Derek when the man told him how attractive and hypnotic Stiles was on film, how intense and true he really was deep down inside and how his pictures were only the reflection of what Stiles already was.

_Were they right? Was he really the beautiful person the photos showed him as? Had he really let other peoples opinions of him cloud his view?_

He was torn from his thoughts when he saw Lydia move. Getting up she gave him a reassuring smile, a happy expression on her face, like she was actually proud of him and that warmed Stiles up. Then she made a small gesture with her head before going to meet Aidan.

Stiles sat silent, lost in his thoughts again, her words replaying in his head and mixing with Derek's. _Was he allowed to believe them? To trust them and acknowledge that they were totally right about him? Was it okay to start changing his opinion of himself, to see himself as he was instead of how he thought others saw him?_

He'd been _lost_...was still lost, and was afraid to believe them. But he felt like he was finally taking steps to get better.

* * *

_**So, what did you thought of chapter 5 wolvies ?**_

_**Was it good? Bad? You wanted or want more?**_

_**Please let me know by leaving a review.**_

_**Thank you for reading, and still be there with me, next chapter will be up Sunday.**_

_**xoxo**_

_**P.**_


	6. Can I Stay Tonight?

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

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**Hey guys! First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read, give kudos, and comment on my fic! I really appreciate all the love!**

**Secondly, I'm looking for someone to do fanarts or manips of some of the photoshoots (like the elements shoot from chapter 5).**

**If you're interested, send me a message on here or tumblr, and we can discuss the pieces I'm looking for. Or if you know an artist who might be interested, please pass along my info so they can get in touch with me. Happy reading!**

**My tumblr : _ shinhia304. tumblr _**

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_**Chapter 6.**_

Spring break was there. Finally. Stiles welcomed the holidays with open arms. He seriously needed the break. From school, the stress of applying to colleges, studying for upcoming tests and exams, and (_he was sad to say it_) he really needed a break from Scott and all the drama thathad beengoing on since Allison and Isaac made it official and started dating.

Don't get him wrong, he was supportive of his best friend and would always be there for Scott, no matter what. But since the guy turned into an alpha, most of the time, Stiles felt like Scott was even more blind than before. Almost selfish, to be honest.

So yeah, Stiles was always there for Scott, supporting him, comforting him, listening to all his drama and self-centered dilemmas but never once since..._**then**_...had Scott asked him anything, shown any interest in how Stiles was feeling since their deaths, never seemed to ask himself how Stiles had been dealing with the aftermath of their sacrifice. If Scott _had_ asked him, then he would have known how exhausted and wrecked Stiles really was.

_ Pretending_ was easy when they were at school, Stiles only had to paste a small smile on his face when needed to reassure his friend, but when he was home and all alone nothing helped him. His loneliness was the perfect trigger to... _**The Darkness!**_

It had started the night Jennifer was killed, along with Kali's death and Deucalion being chased from town. And then the next morning Scott had called to tell him Derek was gone.

That night the Stilinski men were unable to sleep and so they spent it on the couch, sharing ice cream, Stiles forgetting to care about his dad's arteries for one night. They talked that night. Talked a lot. About everything, going back to the beginning. Stiles was finally able to relieve himself of the weight of all those secrets. He told his dad about Laura, how they had dug up her grave next to the Hale house, how she had appeared to them as a wolf before returning back to her human shape. He explained how Scott had been bitten by Peter '_The Beast_'. Then he told him about how he had searched all he could find to help Scott control the wolf and deal with his new life. How he had felt left out once Allison had come into their lives. He talked about Jackson, Matt, the Argents, Gerard beating him up, the Alphas, everything!

Finally, not really knowing why he waited till the end of his speech, he talked about Derek. He confessed how he had misjudged Derek from the start, jumping to conclusions and accusing him of being Laura's killer. How he still felt guilty about that, cause he had only added to the pain Derek was already experiencing at the time. He told him how at the beginning he had felt intimidated by the man, how he was afraid of him but how, strangely, he couldn't keep away. Couldn't stay out of Derek's way. He told his dad how Derek had turned Erica, Isaac and Boyd not because they were teenagers and easy to convince, but because he felt close to them and could relate with their loneliness, and how losing them had tore Derek apart, especially Boyd's death. He told his dad how their relationship had change since Scott's bite, how from scared of the man he had come to rely on him on the battlefield knowing Derek would always have his back, would always put himself in the crossfire if it meant protecting them, Stiles included.

Lastly, Stiles confessed how he had come to feel close to Derek in more ways than he ever thought it to be possible, how he could understand Derek more than anyone because he too had had to face a death in his family.

His dad had listened to him quietly, letting him talked freely, only asking questions during breaks or when Stiles looked at him, his eyes asking the man if he needed some clarity.

Stiles knew then, after that talk, that his father thought things differently. Saw Derek differently, and somehow, without being able to explain why, Stiles had felt relieved.

For a few days everything is fine, (_or seems to be_), and Stiles starts to wonder if Deaton wasn't just trying to scare them. But then, the hallucinations started! Seeing things that were crazy and unreal, falling asleep in class when in reality he wasn't sleeping at all but in some kind of a trance, darkening the pages of his notebook with '_**Wake Up!'**_ scribbled all over.

There was the constant and overwhelming feeling of having deceived the (one or ones?) he'd loved and lost and was now seeing them as if they were ghosts coming to haunt his life.

And finally, his inability to close his eyes at night. He couldn't remember his last night of real good sleep, the kind you didn't wake up drenched in cold sweat after one more horrible nightmare, heart beating violently in his chest, the darkness surrounding it a suffocating feeling. In those moments, when he woke up all startled and scared, it was like losing to _the_ _Darkness_, losing his breath, losing the ability to fight back and push it all away. He was incapable of defending himself. Could just lie there and be crushed by the weight of the fright he was wrapped up in. He couldn't move or breathe at all, he could only stare, completely paralyzed, as _the darkness_ took possession of his self. His soul. His body. His everything!

The worst nights were when his father was on night shift, and Stiles was left all alone in his house. Then the nightmares were always a little worse, a little more twisted. This time he'd seen it so clearly, even smelt it without a problem. His mother had survived cancer and was having tea with Talia Hale, at the woman's house. Stiles didn't know why his mom would be having tea with Talia at the Hale house. All he was sure of was that she was there, and Derek was there too. Then the fire started. Stiles could feel the burning warmth of the flames brushing his sensible skin, and he was standing there completely paralyzed, unable to move a limb to go help them, he couldn't even scream, no sound would came out of his mouth no matter how many times he tried to shout. He was helpless, forced to watch the house burning down slowly into the night, the grey smoke of the fire reaching up to lick the starless black sky. Then…

Then Stiles woke up screaming his mother and Derek's names.

It was at that very moment that he decided to search for Derek. He needed to know where the ex-alpha was, needed to know if he was safe. Stiles didn't question himself why that need was so crucial, he only was sure that it was what he needed to do. And it helped. Searching for hours and hours. Losing himself in something meaningful had helped with keeping him sane enough to keep going on with everyday life. But sometimes... Sometimes like tonight, the nightmares of that burning house or his mother dying in the hospital would come and strike again. Waking him up on a strangled cry.

Shaking violently, Stiles tried to catch his breath. He couldn't call for his dad, as the man was working the night shift for two weeks. Forcing himself to move his frozen limbs, he managed to get up and grab his hoodie from the back of his computer chair. He put it on, then, not really knowing how, found his keys and wallet, put on his shoes and went downstairs. In a blur he saw himself leaving a note for his dad, in a very shaky handwriting.

Still fighting against the darkness he could feel flowing inside of him like the stream of a violent river, he got out of the house. Still unable to think clearly, he saw himself get into his car and turn on the engine, next thing he was aware of he was parking in front of Derek's building and quickly found himself banging on the man's door. Then Derek was standing in front of him, looking like someone who'd just been woken up from a deep sleep. His eyes widened when he took in the sight of Stiles in front of him, disheveled, sweaty and looking completely lost.

"Can I stay the night, please?" The boy asked in a shaky voice.

Derek took his hand and pulled him inside, closing the door behind them and turned to ask Stiles what was going on.

"What happened?"

"Can we not talk about it, right now... I feel like I'm gonna lose it!"

"Okay. Okay. Come here. Good. Breathe. Calm down, I'm here. I'm here. Not going anywhere. You don't need to be scared anymore." Derek said gently, his mouth in Stiles' hair, as he held him close, wrapped tightly in his arms. Stiles felt warm instantly, and safe, like nothing could happen now that Derek was there. And maybe that's what made him lose complete control of his barriers, and there, in the strong arms of his _**friend**_, he broke down.

He cried. Cried for hours, it seemed. Cried all he had kept inside for so long. Cried like he couldn't have with anyone else, cause it felt like no one cared at all. Felt like he was alone. Abandoned. By his best friend, his friends. Everyone. Ashamed, though, that he couldn't go find his father to talk about _**it**_. Because he was scared. Because he was broken. Because his dad had already had enough, and Stiles didn't have the courage or the will to go and add more shit to his dad's troubles. So he kept it all inside. Kept everything locked, pushing it away the best he could. The longer it was possible for him to hold on. But feeling Derek's warmth... It was too much. He just couldn't fight it anymore when he felt so safe. He needed to release the pain, he needed to do it or he was afraid he would go totally crazy.

"Shh...you're safe here. It's okay. You're safe with me, baby. I've got you. I'm not letting you go. I won't let go, Stiles."

"Derek!" he whispered in a shuddering voice.

"I'm right here. Right here with you."

_How long did he cry?_

_ Was it Minutes?_

_ Hours?_

He had no idea, it was all a blur. What he did registered though, was Derek taking his hoodie off of him, and slowly guiding him to the bed. _Then,_ them lying down, and Derek still close to him. The man taking him in his arms again, holding him tight against his body, letting him cry until he fell asleep, exhausted. He fell into a deep slumber, where nothing could reach him. He knew that, right there, in this man's arms, he was safe. A feeling of security he hasn't felt in a very, very long time settling over him.

* * *

When Stiles woke up, morning was reaching its end, and Derek was still sleeping next to him, a possessive arm wrapped around his back, keeping him from going anywhere. The next thing Stiles registered though, was that he desperately needed to use the bathroom and empty his full bladder. Untangling himself slowly from Derek's tight grip, he finally found liberty and went to release himself.

Once he was done, he washed his hands and came across his reflection in the mirror. The sight of sunken cheeks, dark circles and pale flesh greeted him. He felt as horrible as he looked, it seemed. Exhaling slowly, he washed his face, and took a new look at his reflection, it wasn't much but he already felt a bit better. Leaving the bathroom he went back to the principal room of the loft. Went to the bed and took in the sight of Derek, sound asleep, all wrapped up in his covers. A smile grazed his lips at the view. Turning his head, his eyes searched for his hoodie that he found not far from the bed, he went for it and found his phone in his pocket, then came back to the bed and took a picture of Derek sleeping. He looked so peaceful, so free and different from when he was awake, that Stiles wanted to keep that memory forever. Watching him sleep a few more minutes, he finally went to the kitchen in search of something to eat while waiting for the man to wake up. He found some granola bars in one of the cupboards above the sink, grabbed one then decided to go upstairs to alive his boredom, maybe Derek had left his computer open and Stiles could look at the pictures they had taken so far.

That's what he did. For almost thirty minutes. Then his attention was taken by all the photo albums lined up on the big shelf next to the door, all sleek black covers, except for one. It's white color standing out in the middle of all the others. Stiles got up and grabbed the first album, avoiding the white one that drew his attention like a burning diamond, because something told him he wasn't allowed to look at it without Derek's consent. So he appeased his curiosity by looking at all the others. He quickly lost track of time, all immersed as he was in Derek's pictures, a lot of them being totally new to him.

He didn't hear the footsteps coming in his direction, so it wasn't his fault that he flailed, almost falling out of the chair when Derek's deep voice pulled him from his deep contemplation,

"So this is where you are, huh?!"

Stiles lifted his gaze from the pictures to Derek's face, shooting him a look. Derek smiled faintly back.

"I lost track of time." He said, blushing like a kid caught in the act.

"I can see that." Derek answered, sitting next to him. "You looked at them all?"

"Yeah... I couldn't help it. You're very good!"

"Thank you."

"Can I ask what's in the white one, though?"

Derek didn't answer, only got up to take the album. He came to sit back next to Stiles and gave it to him, saying,

"You should discover that by yourself, I think."

Stiles grabbed the leather bound book, like it was a very fragile treasure, and opened it.

"Oh...is that Laura?!"

"Mm...It's all I have left of how she used to look, I guess." Derek said in a soft voice. Stiles looked at him, and ached for the love he could read on his face. He instantly felt sorry and hurt for him, it seemed losing Laura had been worse than losing everyone else.

"She was so beautiful!" He whispered, his attention going back to the pictures on the silver pages.

"She was! And so, so funny too. She would have loved you, you know. Had she lived, I know the two of you would have became _BFF's_ in no time." Derek said, a small smile on his lips, his gaze lost in the past.

"I wish I could have known her." Stiles said, his fingers brushing on one picture where Laura was laughing, her long dark hair flying in the wind, her left hand trying to cover the lens of the camera. The sun was coming from behind her and she looked so beautifully breath taking. Like an angel. "How old was she in this one?" He asked Derek, running his finger on the slightly burnt corner of the picture.

"Around sixteen I think, my dad took this one. He loved photography, I guess I got interested because of him. This one is one of the few pictures that survived the fire. Just like Laura and I did, I guess!"

Stiles kept silent, looking at the picture in front of him, slowly he reached for Derek's right hand next to his. Still without words, he covered it with his own, caressing the soft skin of his palm, his gaze still directed to the picture. A rush of happiness rolled through him when he felt Derek close his fingers around his.

"Will you tell me about her, one day? I'd like to know her."

"I will."

A simple answer. Two simple words, but it was enough for Stiles to be happy and be sure Derek would keep his promise in the future.

"Come on _Sourwolf_, let's go eat something, I'm starving."

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**_What did you thought of this chapter wolvies?_**

**_Did you like it?_**

**_Please let me know in a review! :-)_**

**_See you thursday for next chapter everyone._**

**_xoxo_**

**_P._**


	7. It Feels Like We're Getting Closer

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

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_**Chapter 7.**_

Stiles had arrived a good twenty minutes early, he had received a text message from Derek the night before asking if Stiles could come by the next day. The text not saying anything else. It was short and direct. Typical Derek.

Not really having anything to do that day, Stiles had awoken early, made breakfast for himself and his dad leaving a plate for when the man woke up, showered and finally left for the loft once dressed.

He hadn't expected Derek to welcome him at the door, dressed in light sweatpants and a light purple Henley. Once again, Stiles thought to himself that Derek had really changed since the first time they'd met. Stiles asked himself if them working together, getting closer each time they spent hours with the other, caused a bit of that change? If in his presence Derek felt relaxed enough to let go and be himself. Be himself as in wearing sweatpants and a colored Henley.

All Stiles knew, was that, after his massive breakdown - _he didn't know how he hadn't had a panic attack that night? Maybe because of how safe he'd felt, wrapped up_ _in Derek's warm embrace?_ - it felt like whatever was holding him back, whatever had kept him from telling Derek his most intimate fears and secrets, was nearly gone now. Yes, he still felt shy and embarrassed. Yes, he still had apprehensions, but those were nothing to what they had been in the beginning, back when Derek had confronted him at the Hale house.

When he looked up next, twenty minutes had passed and Stiles still didn't know why he was there. Derek had let him into the loft before disappearing into the bathroom downstairs. Stiles had quickly climbed the spiral staircase, heading for the studio, wanting to look at Laura's photo book again.

As he looked through it again, Stiles noticed a figure was present in a lot of the ones Derek had taken while he and his sister lived in New York. Stiles noticed because that one figure was also in numerous pictures he'd seen when searching for Darheel Kee. The man with piercing blue eyes, tattoos, and light brown hair was familiar to the point Stiles wondered if he'd been more than a model and friend to Derek. The idea bugged Stiles greatly, the lick of jealousy burning through his body.

Stiles lifted his head when he heard Derek climb the last stairs to the studio.

"Lost in Laura's pictures again?" The man asked, coming near Stiles.

"Yeah. Again."

"Are you pining for my dead sister?" Derek asked, sounding really serious. The question had Stiles looking at him alarmed, exclaiming quickly,

"What? Of course not! That's... That's just wrong, dude. I'm not pining for her at all."

Derek stayed silent a long minute, his face blank of any expression. Then a big smile cracked his face, his eyes shining brightly.

"I would have smelt it on you, if you were!"

"Freaking Sourwolf!"

"Shut up, you like it and you know it."

"What did Cora do to you during those six months away? You've become such a bitch..." Stiles said, rolling his eyes dramatically.

Derek, acting offended, slapped a hand against his chest, and exclaimed,

"Me? A bitch?"

"Yes, you! You heard me, old guy!"

"Ow, now you're just hurting my feelings, Genim."

"Don't call me that, I hate that name!" Stiles said, blushing slightly, his index fingers pointing in the brunette's direction. The gesture wanted to be intimidating, though Stiles knew his intimidation tactics had never worked on Derek.

Smiling, he said in a low voice,

"Oh really! Then why do you shiver every time I say it?!"

Derek sat down on the ground before him. He grabbed the photo book, his fingers brushing deliberately against Stiles' as he took it from his hands, his eyes falling on the picture of Laura wrapped up in the arms of the same blue eyed man.

Stiles couldn't stop his reaction to that touch. He felt it so deeply, so intimately, burning against his flesh. His breath caught in his throat, and it left him feeling dry and suddenly very thirsty. His hands shook but he tried to hide them from Derek's gaze. And when he met the mans eyes, he was left speechless for a while, hypnotized by how wet Derek's lips looked now that he'd licked them.

"So who's the dude in the picture with Laura? He's in a lot of pictures in the other books, too."

"Why, does it bother you?"

"What? NO! Nope, not at all, I'm just asking cause he's in a lot of pictures. Though, to be honest, it does seem like you had a thing going on."

"And what if I did...?" Derek asked, his eyes boring into Stiles'.

Stiles felt small under that stare, naked. The thought of Derek and that guy... It troubled him. Bothered him to think of them, together. It was something he didn't want to know and _had to_, at the same time; something he didn't want to think about but that would cloud his mind day and night now. That's why he heard himself say, unable to stop his mouth from spitting the words out,

"Do you have a habit of sleeping with your models?"

"What if I do? What would you do, Stiles?" Derek asked in a low, charming voice that came from deep in his throat.

"I... I don't know... Did you? Did you... sleep with him? At least tell me that, please..."

Derek looked at him closely, keeping silent and Stiles worried he wouldn't answer. Then he felt the brush of the mans left pinky finger on his own, sending shivers though his body and making him feel warm, wanted!

"No, I don't have a habit of sleeping with my models. But yes, I was with him. He was my... I don't really know what to call him. Not a rebound, he was so much more than that, but at the same time I always knew it wouldn't last very long." Derek told him.

His gaze was lost somewhere Stiles knew he couldn't reach him. And that thought pained him. So he wrapped his pinky around Derek's, holding tight, secretly wanting the man to come back from his memories and be here with him, _only_ him. Crazy, how Stiles already felt jealous and protective of the small thing that was his!

"What's his name?" Stiles couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Liam."

"How long did it last?"

"A little over a year. It was two years after I started getting known for my photographs, so about three after... Well, you know."

Stiles shook his head a little, understanding Derek's unsaid words.

"Was it worth it, even if it didn't last?!"

"It was, yeah. Every day spent with him was worth it."

"Then... Why? How?..."

Derek looked at him, understanding shining in his eyes, and said,

"One day, we woke up and it was over. Just like that. Just like a lot of relationships end, because the road you were traveling on has separated and became two and you're not following the same path of life anymore."

"Do you still have contact with him?"

"No. Not anymore." Derek's eyes grew sad.

"Why not?"

"He never told me when we were together; he had a very rare illness attacking his body from the inside, consuming him slowly. Laura and I, we never even smelt that he was sick. And then one day we were having a spaghetti night over at the apartment and the next morning we got a call from his brother saying that he was gone. Just like that, he went to sleep and just never woke up."

"Derek, I'm sorry!" Stiles whispered, hurt by the story. He felt guilty for having been so jealous of the poor guy who clearly had enjoyed life to the fullest and had a smile so bright it seemed to light every picture he was in.

"It's okay. Of all the losses in my life, Liam is the only one I could accept and grieve for. Because it's life, you know, sometimes it's like it's just meant to be that way."

Stiles said nothing, what could he say really, every word in the world would be pointless to that. So he kept silent. He felt like a gesture only could console Derek, show him he was there and grateful Derek had opened up to him, shared something so intimate with him. Slowly, his touch made of tenderness, he cupped the left side of the mans jaw, his thumb caressing the barely there stubble under it. Derek had been shaving more since coming back, and most of the time looked like he had when they'd met in the preserve two years ago. Soft and hard at the same time.

Derek let himself go for a second, leaning into the touch, eyes closed. Oh, how he'd dreamt to feel Stiles' hands touch him like this. But, he still couldn't give in. Not now. He had to wait, Stiles was still too fragile. What they had was still too fragile. And things were still too... Raw, to let go of right now.

So he looked into the boy amazing eyes one last time, then got up to go to his computer.

"Last night I was looking at the 'Masquerade Elements' set we did and there's still one picture we need to take for it to be complete!"

"Fire."

"Yeah, fire."

"Okay." Stiles whispered. He'd known when Derek had suggested an elements theme, that they'd have to talk about using fire, but he wasn't sure how to bring the subject up. He took a breath then said,

"If, and I'm only saying _**if**_, we were to take pictures for that element, it would involve some real fire at some point, right? Just like the other elements? Would you be okay to work like that? Would you be able to, you know, _watch _me play with fire?!"

His eyes locked on Derek', searching for answers he wasn't sure he'd find in those pale greenish orbs. Derek kept silent, the moment dragging on for what seemed like forever, until the man turned away, going to put Laura's photo book back on the shelf in its usual place with all the others. His fingers lingered on it's leather cover, a shuddering breath escaping the mans mouth before he said softly,

"I guess we just found the real work we have to do for me!"

Stiles felt goosebumps creeping over his skin, slowly, like he was trying to tame a wild animal. Walking towards Derek, he stopped a few inches from him. Lifting his hand he put it gently on the mans shoulder, a flashback of that same gesture months ago clouding his vision for a fleeting second. He felt the warm skin under his touch, the muscle tightening before going loose, and he could also feel the rise and fall of Derek's breath.

"I miss her, you know. I miss them all. Everyone I lost!"

"Derek..." he whispered, stepping closer.

"When you came by that night, you looked so frightened, so broken and I couldn't help it. I was scared for you. It felt like if I didn't take things into my own hands, if I didn't take care of you, then you would disappear too. I'd wake up one day and you'd be gone... Just like everyone else. That's why I couldn't say no when you came to ask for my help."

Stiles let out a shaky breath, he'd never imagined those were the reasons Derek had agreed to do this. He hadn't thought he meant that much to the man.

Shaking, a tight ball growing in his gut, he let his hand wander down Derek's arm, caressing the bare skin of his forearm. He felt the goosebumps under his fingers, felt the hair on that arm raise just because of his touch. He took a step and found himself pressed against the muscular back of the man. His left hand, moving on its own it seemed, lifted to rest on Derek's left hip. He moved closer, so that he could press his nose in between Derek's scapula and take a deep breath of the unique sent that was Derek Hale. The tips of his fingers brushed against the top of Derek's hand, and finally his fingers linked with the mans. His left hand tightened its hold on Derek's hip bone.

The moment felt like it was stuck in time, like the world had stopped turning on its axe and the only thing that mattered now, was them, together at that very moment.

"You're precious, you know!" Derek said softly, his voice sounding tighter than usual, like his emotions were all trapped in his throat, in his words.

"You are too, Derek. You're very precious to me!" Stiles said back, his voice muffled by Derek's shirt.

Derek turned around, his eyes met Stiles', then lingered further down on the teens face, absorbing every detail before coming to rest on his rosy lips.

Excitement filled Stiles, his heart beating quickly, furiously in his chest. He felt like, this moment, was the turning point of their relationship, and Stiles would go crazy if something didn't happen in the next five second.

Derek let his senses be overwhelmed by Stiles scent, the feeling of his skin touching his, the sound of his raging heartbeat and shuddery breathing. The next thing his senses registered, his hands were cupping Stiles' face, the thinner body pressed tightly against his own and their lips meeting halfway…

Stiles had never felt like this, so awake, so fragile yet strong at the same time, like he owned the world. It was like being sad and extremely happy both at the same time, and everything else disappeared leaving only him and Derek... _Kissing!_

* * *

**_And that's it for chapter seven wolvies._**

**_I'm sorry i'm a day behind on my usual Thursday post, but i wasn't really feeling well yesterday plus i'm in the middle of exams, so right now my life kinda sucks. _**

**_Anyway, hope you guys liked this chapter._**

**_Let me know in a review._**

**_xoxo_**

**_P._**


	8. Chapter 8: Facing Papa S!

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

_**Author's Notes :**_ I'm sorry for being so late in posting anything on this story, guys! But life has been a sucker and I seriously was to caught up with it to come and take care of posting here on FFNET! To make up for that, here two chapters for Christmas.

**_Merry Christmas, wolvies._**

* * *

**_Can You See Me Through Your Lens_**

_**Chapter 8.**_

* * *

_Kissing Stiles had been..._ No word was strong enough to describe what Derek felt the moment their lips had touched. His mind was still reeling from the kiss almost two weeks later. His feelings were all over the map, and he was afraid.

What Derek knew though, was how _perfect_ it had been. Holding Stiles so tight, close to his body, feeling his lips move under his own, the tip of his shy tongue caressing his, his panting breath and the sound, _the feel_ of his heart beating so fast against him. How all that had been perfect. Had been so... _**right!**_ That was what he had unconsciously searched for all his life. Never before, with anyone, had he felt like Stiles could make him feel.

Stiles made him shiver, _tremble_, he made him dream, laugh, want to smile all the damn time, cause he couldn't help thinking of him. Only him. He wanted to open up and liberate himself after holding his soul prisoner for so many long years. Stiles made him _believe_ again. Stiles made him feel so damn alive!

Yes... _**ALIVE**_!

It felt like every one of his cells had suddenly awoken from a very, very long, deep sleep. Like his blood started boiling along with all the crazy feelings Genim _'Stiles'_ Stilinski was able to make him feel.

However, despite all his feelings, despite how happy he felt with Stiles, a big part of him wanted..._needed_ to take things slow. He needed to take baby steps because this was way too important to go and risk having everything explode in his face. He doubted it, especially after _**it**_ happened, but with his past, he needed to be careful.

It was the reason he hadn't brought up the kiss this past week and a half, to be sure they were doing this right. And Stiles was still so young; he could feel attracted to Derek now, but he was only eighteen years old. An eighteen year old _**human**_. So, so totally, completely _**human**_. Derek had to be careful, watch out for himself, do a better job this time than he had in the last ten years.

That's why he was making this decision. An invitation had come in the mail, and after spending two days thinking it over, thinking everything over, he knew what he needed to do next. If he ever wanted what he had with Stiles to be real and serious, then he had to prove to this town that he had changed, that he wasn't to be feared, that he could be trusted. And that meant starting with the most important person in Stiles' life;

_**The sheriff!**_

Derek parked in front of the police station, turned the car off, and felt the pockets of his jacket, checking one last time, making sure he had it with him. Then, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, he opened his door and got out of the Camaro. He walked into the station, going for the deputy placed at the reception desk. Derek tried to ignored the looks that were thrown his way, and smiled gently instead, hoping it hid how nervous he really felt.

"Hello." He said to the blond woman behind the desk. She frowned tightly, eyeing him up and down. No doubt she had heard of him and recognized his face.

"Hello, what can I do for you?"

"Uhh... Is the sheriff in?" He asked, feeling a bead of sweat run down his spine.

"Do you have an appointment?" The blond said, still eyeing him suspiciously.

"No, but I'd like to talk to him, if that's possible."

"About?"

"It's kinda private."

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait, if it's nothing important!" The blond replied, cold as a damn grave.

"Please,"

Derek thought about kissing Stiles, about how perfect it had been. No words were strong enough to describe what he'd felt the moment their lips touched. He needed to see the sheriff, to get his permission. His future was at stake here.

"It is important, Miss…" He paused a second to look at her badge, "Miss Lenox. I really need to talk to him, it's about his son. Could you, please, see if it's possible for him to see me today."

Maybe it was his insistence, the mention of Stiles or his determination, he really didn't know, but the woman finally nodded, tearing her eyes from him. Derek allowed himself to breath more freely when she said,

"I'll go see if the sheriff can see you. Stay here!"

_As if __he was __going to leave after all that._

He waited five minutes that seemed like five hours before Deputy Lenox made her way back to the desk, her face still closed off.

"The sheriff can see you now, please follow me." She said, before showing him back to the sheriff's office.

He followed without a word, feeling the weighty gazes of the other people in the station. Deputy Lenox stopped abruptly at the door with the word 'Sheriff' embossed on it and knocked.

"Come in!" Said the distinctive, masculine voice of Sheriff John Stilinski.

"Mr. Hale to see you, Sheriff." Deputy Lenox said before holding the door open for Derek.

Derek was dreading the conversation he was about to have, but he knew enough about John Stilinski to know that he'd appreciate being asked permission to take Stiles on a trip. He was doing it at the Beacon Hills police station because he wanted the Sheriff, and anyone else who thought they knew him, to see that he had good intentions only. Derek entered the office, Deputy Lenox closing the door behind him, and he breathed deeply once more. God he found this man so intimidating.

"_Derek!_ Hello!"

"Uhh... Good morning, sir." He said, hoping the shaking he felt all over couldn't be heard in his voice. John seemed amused to see him there, but kept a really serious expression on his face nonetheless.

"Sit down, son, you look like you're about to faint."

Derek, happily, did as told, fearing his legs wouldn't hold him through everything he had to say to this man.

"So? You have something to tell me about Stiles? What's going on? What kind of trouble is he in now?" John said, curious and asking himself what Stiles might have done... _**Again!**_

"He isn't in any kind of trouble! Uh...Sir..." Derek answered, shaking his head slightly.

John's brows furrowed, not getting what this was all about if Stiles wasn't in trouble.

"I don't know if Stiles told you or not, but he and I have become friends over the past few months."

"So, you're the stranger he won't talk about. Somehow, I'm not surprised!" The man said, crossing his hands on the desk in front of him. This was going to be interesting; he could already tell that much by watching how nervous Derek was; Derek who hadn't blinked once when he was being accused of his sister's murder.

"Uhh, yeah." Derek admitted, then added, "I've been helping Stiles; we've been helping each other, to be honest; for the last few months. Since I came back to town.

"After everything that happened last year, and in our past… I believe we were meant to be in each others lives." Derek tacked a 'Sir' on the end of his sentence.

Derek took the envelope out of his pocket and put it on the desk, pushing it a bit in the man's direction. John went for it, curious, and he threw a look at Derek when the brunette continued speaking,

"After…" Derek stopped, the pain was still hard to deal with even after all these years. He looked up at John and saw an understanding there; he didn't have say anything, Stiles had already explained all about werewolves and what had happened, he knew.

"Laura and I moved to New York, we both needed a fresh start. I blamed myself. After a few weeks, one of my teachers suggested photography as a way to express what I couldn't say. Laura bought me a new camera, the one I used before burnt in the fire, and I spent the next few years learning all about taking pictures. One day, years ago, a gallery owner saw a few of my pictures by accident and she offered me a showcase. I've been very fortunate." He paused, his face glowing with pride.

"By the time I got back to town, Stiles being Stiles, had found out about my work. He had questions and has shown an interest."

"And what does that have to do with this?" John asked, holding up the envelope.

"I've been invited to do an exhibit in New York, and I'd like to take Stiles, sir. I think he'd enjoy it, and it could be good for him to be away from Beacon Hills for a little while, after what happened. I'm sure you've noticed he hasn't been the same."

"Of course I did, but he won't talk to me about anything, no matter what I say or do." John admitted, looking wounded that his son was suffering and wouldn't talk to him about his problems.

"He doesn't want to burden you even more, sir!"

"I'm his _father_, it's my job to be burdened by his problems." John answered, pain shining in his eyes. The man looked tired, Derek noticed.

"I know, sir. But for what it's worth, know that I'm helping him the most and best that I can."

"You being here alone shows me that you are, son." John said, a reassuring smile on his lips. His fingers closed on the envelope again. Exhaling loudly, he opened it and took a look at the invitation inside. It was addressed to Darheel Kee and guest.

"Okay, tell me more about the exhibit."

"It's in two weeks, sir - "

"Call me John, Derek, I have a feeling we're going to be getting to know each other a lot better." The man said, cutting him off, before motioning with his hand to continue in a way that reminded Derek of Stiles.

"Uh, thank you, J-John. Yeah, so, it's in two weeks. The exhibit opens Saturday night, but we'd need to leave early Friday morning, I still need to go over a few of the pieces."

"Stiles would miss school?"

"Only for one day, sir... Uh I mean, John."

John looked thoughtful for awhile then nodded.

"Okay, and then...?"

"So. We'll leave Friday morning and come back Sunday evening, early enough so that Stiles won't be tired for school on Monday. I'm planning to show him the best parts of the city, distract him from all the crazy stuff that happened over the last year."

"Where will you be staying?" John asked, to be honest that's what he feared the most. Stiles was still young and let's face it, _he knew his son_.

"My agent made the reservations. The gallery is paying for everything. They booked me a suite in a hotel near the gallery. Separate rooms of course."

"Uh huh. And you'll call me if anything happens to my son while you're there?"

"Yes, of course. I'll take care of him John, you really don't have to worry. Stiles is safe with me." Derek said with honesty.

John exhaled deeply, his decision already made. He knew, he could see it, Derek would take care of his son. Would do everything to keep him safe no matter what. Plus, there was something reassuring knowing Stiles would have a bad-ass werewolf bodyguard to watch over him in the streets of New York.

"Okay. You have my blessing, you can bring Stiles with you to New York. How much is this trip going to cost me?"

"The gallery paid for the plane tickets and the hotel, and I'm taking care of all the spending money. The trip won't cost you or Stiles anything. My agent sent the plane tickets along with the invitation to the exhibit, if you'd like to see them."

"Seems like you couldn't say no, son!" John joked, happy to see Derek smile in return. The man was starting to relax.

"Yeah, she doesn't take 'No' for an answer. But I don't mind, I love my job and this exhibit is really important to me, more so than the others before it!"

"How so?" John asked, curious.

"Half of the money earned for the pieces that sell will be donated to an association taking care of orphans who, like me, lost their parents in tragic situations or from illness. Being able to help those kids is very important to me. I could never have declined the invitation."

"You've grown into a really respectable and good man, Derek. I'm happy to witness how much you've changed over the years."

"I guess when you meet the right people then..." Derek said, his gaze lost in the horizon behind the sheriff's back.

"Yeah, the right people can make all the difference." John agreed, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts for a few minutes. Then John continued,

"Well, if there's nothing else to talk about, Derek, I have some work to get back to."

"Uh... No, sorry. I'll leave now. Thank you for allowing me to take Stiles to New York, sir."

"It's John."

"Huh... John!"

"Besides, I'm happy Stiles has you by his side these days." John said, standing up and offering his hand to Derek.

"I'm the lucky one, s - I mean, John. Thank you again, I'll see you soon, I guess."

"Yes. Goodbye, son. I'll leave you to share the news with Stiles."

"Ah, yeah. Thank you. Have a good day."

"You too, son."

* * *

The flight to New York had been anything but peaceful, Stiles amusing himself like a four year old by practically vibrating in his seat. He looked all around, touched everything, and kept up an incessant stream of chatter, all this under Derek's amused gaze.

"You're worse than a kid!"

"Can you blame me? This is my first time on a plane. Plus, I still can't believe my dad agreed to this. I still can't believe you actually went to the police station to ask him, for him to agree to this!" Stiles said with a laugh.

"Well, I figured it was better for me to ask him first, rather then come home to his gun." Derek was only half joking.

"Yeah, but did you really needed to go to the station? I mean, you could have totally come by the house and asked him."

"No. It's better this way. Now your dad knows this is really important to me, that I'm not holding any grudges, given our past, and that he can be reassured you're safe with me." Derek said, his eyes darkening, his grumpy face back in full force.

Stiles smiled, he had missed that face, to be honest. Sitting back in his seat, he met Derek's eyes and said,

"He already knew that. He knows that I'm safer with you then with anyone else."

Derek kept silent, touched by Stiles' words.

The rest of the flight went by unnoticed, and at some point, tired of moving about, Stiles finally fell asleep, exhausted by their late night trip, his head falling on Derek's shoulder.

They'd had to leave late Thursday night rather than Friday morning like Derek had initially thought they would, to be able to meet with his agent first thing in the morning on Friday.

At some point not long after drifting off, Stiles moved on his seat to get more comfortable placing his feet under him, pressing his face further in the crook of Derek's shoulder and linking his arms around the mans bicep.

Derek kept silent watching Stiles sleep for a long time, happy that the teen felt safe enough around him to let go and fall asleep that way. Finally, he too joined dreamland, his head resting on top of Stiles' hair.

The next thing Stiles knew they were in New York, in the gallery where Derek's work was going to be on exhibit the next day. Stiles was so mesmerize by... Everything!

The pictures surrounding him in all sizes on the white walls were amazing. But he couldn't stop staring at the one in front of him, facing the gallery's entrance. It was a floor to ceiling picture of Laura, facing the camera, breath taking like he'd never seen her before.

"Close your mouth, you're gonna swallow a fly!" Said the deep voice, of one Derek Hale, um no...of one Darheel Kee at his back.

"I think I just fell in love with your big sister!" Stiles said seriously, smirking a little when he heard Derek grunt at that declaration.

"But not in a creepy, lusting way, dude. She's just...WOW! That picture... is so..."

"Breath taking and ethereal?" Derek whispered.

"Yeah, that!"

"I know, I think I'm in love with that side of her too, to be honest."

They lapse into silence for a minute, just staring at the picture.

"Will you display our pictures too, when we..." Stiles asked, gesturing between them, not wanting to think that all they had done up until now would ever end.

"Maybe. Who knows. We have time to talk about it later, right?" Derek said softly.

Stiles look at him closely before directing his gaze back to Laura's portrait. Then he felt a strong hand grab his and Derek, while dragging him towards the door, was saying.

"Come on, we still have a lot of things to do today, if we want to have tomorrow free."

"You're really not going to tell me what you planed?"

"Nope. I told you, it's a surprise. Now be a good boy and stop asking questions."

"Yeah, that's your nice way to tell me to shut up."

"Yep!"

"_Bitch!"_

"_Brat!_"

"_Freaking Sourwolf!"_

"_Little snot!"_

"Oh my god!" Stiles exclaimed with emphasis.

"Actually I prefer 'Oh my _Wolf_."

"Who the _Hale_ are you and what have you done with _my_ Mr. McGrumpy-Pants?" Stiles asked, making big gestures with his hands.

"Stiles..." Derek said, sighing heavily. Rolling his eyes, he took Stiles' hand in his. Knowing the teen like he did, he was sure he could easily lose him in one of the too busy streets in the Big Apple.

From the gallery, they went into an arts, crafts, and paint shop, entering and going out just as quick, Derek paying for an order he'd made way before they arrived in the city. Stiles, curious as ever, tried to peek into the bag Derek was holding but he found himself unsuccessful.

Derek raised a mocking eyebrow when Stiles' stomach growled on their way out of the shop, before deciding it was time for something to eat. Stiles said curly fries, of course, when asked, and was surprised and happy when Derek just nodded, a tiny smile threatening the corners of his lips, and lead them through the streets.

A couple of blocks later, they were ordering their food in a small _hole-in-the-wall_ diner. Stiles loved the place immediately, and spent the next twenty minutes sending pictures to Lydia via _whatsapp_ on his brand new iPhone5c.

After lunch, Derek asked Stiles what he wanted to see of the city, and they went, even if they had to wait endlessly to go to the top of the Empire State Building or the Statue of Liberty.

They got back to their hotel by six that night. Stiles was exhausted but happy, his body begging for a hot shower and he gladly disappeared into the bathroom when Derek told him to go first.

Two hours later, they were being lead to their table in a small, but nice, Chinese restaurant. Derek had told Stiles this was the place he and Laura used to come to every Friday night.

"So... You still won't tell me what we're gonna do tomorrow?"

"No."

"Oh come on, give me a hint at least!"

"No!"

"Please, _Der-bear..._" Stiles whined, doing his best impression of a drama queen.

Derek blushed violently hearing the nickname, feelings of pain, sadness, shame and longing swamping him.

"Stiles, you can call me anything, literally _anything_ else you want, except that!"

"Why, it suits you perfectly!" Stiles answered, oblivious to the inner turmoil the man was experiencing.

"No... It doesn't!" Derek said, a bit on the whining side.

"What's the matter, Derek? Did Cora or someone else tease you about your name?"

"No. It's just... I don't like it, okay? Laura and my mom used to call me that all the damn time. It's frustratingly annoying! So... Don't ever call me that!"

"Awww... You were your mommy and Laura's little _Der-bear_, that's so cuuute!"

"Stiles!" Derek growled menacingly, his fingers tightening on the porcelain spoon for his spicy Chinese soup.

"Okay..." Stiles sighed heavily, rolling his eyes to make his point. "I won't call you that anymore... You big McBroody Pants! You're such a fucking spoils sport sometimes!"

"I know. Now, shut up and eat your soup!"

* * *

**_Hope you enjoy this chapter, guys._**

**_It's not over, chapter 9 is one click away!_**

**_Merry Christmas Eve._**


	9. Chapter 9: In The MIddle Of The Night

_**Can You See Me Through Your Lens**_

* * *

_**Chapter 9.**_

When they went back to the hotel that night, it was in peaceful silence. Stiles walking really close to Derek. So close their hands were brushing with every move.

Derek felt like he was filled with electricity when close to Stiles, felt like time had somehow stopped the moment they had gotten on the plane and now was the perfect moment to give way to his desires. But sadly, he couldn't just give in and not care, not _think_ of the aftermath. He and Stiles needed to talk. Problem is he really had no clue _how_ to bring the subject onto the table.

They reached the hotel a few minutes later, and after a moment of slightly awkward silence in the elevator - _the fact that there actually was an elevator operator to get them from ground floor to there suite floor, wasn't really helping them to stay serious._ They got to their suite and Derek closed to door behind them, putting the '_**Do not disturb**_' sign on the doorknob. From the corner of his eye he saw Stiles disappear into his room. The teen looked tired, New York seemed to have worn him down way more than they both thought it would, but Derek wasn't really surprised. Most days Stiles still looked very week and wounded, _The Darkness_ inside using him relentlessly.

He was suddenly torn from his inner thoughts when he felt his phone vibrate in his jeans' pocket.

"Hale!" He said in the receiver; damn, all he wanted was a hot shower and to lie down.

"Derek, sweet bun, so happy I could reach you!" A woman's voice said on the other end of the line.

Derek rolled his eyes, going for his bedroom. He toed off his shoes and socks and started undoing his belt.

"What's wrong, C?" He asked, certain something was wrong at the gallery for his agent to be calling him now.

"Oh nothing, nothing honey. Why would anything be wrong?!"

"Because it's after nine pm, and you're using your sweet seductive voice, which, by the way is useless, I never fall for it, I won't start now."

"Oh sweet cheeks! Don't be like that…"

"Tell me what's the matter, Cynthia!" He said, cutting her off.

"Okay... There may have been a mix up with the last shipment that was delivered this afternoon, and I know you won't be able to come in tomorrow as you're spending the day with that sweet vanilla boy of yours. I would really appreciate it if you could come and look it over. I just hope nothing is missing from the delivery cause that would be a freaking disaster…" She said sounding really bothered.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes!"

"Marvelous! I'll be waiting for you. So... How was your date tonight?" She asked, her goofy smile palpable in her voice.

Derek sighed heavily then replied,

"It wasn't a date, and would you mind your own business!"

"Oh sweet bun, your business _is_ my business, of course. I only live because of you these days!"

"That's really sad to hear, C. You should really find someone and get laid. Have you ever thought of opening an account on _Plenty of Fish_ or something?!"

"Hey now, don't be mean or I'll force you to go over the entire exhibit one more time."

"I wish I'd never met you!" Derek growled.

"Babe, you wish you'd had me in your life since day one!" She replied, deadpan.

Derek choose to hang up there and grabbed his jacket. Putting it on, he opened his bedroom door, almost falling over Stiles, who was standing there, ready to knock.

"Oh... You going somewhere?" The boy asked, his smile faltering a bit.

Derek sighed again, he really would have preferred to stay there with Stiles instead of running all over town to fix the mistakes of their fucking delivery services.

"Yeah, Cyn just called. There was a mix up in one of the deliveries and she needs me to get to the gallery now, check if everything is there and place the pieces in the exhibit. You can stay here, call room service if you're hungry. I'll try not to be too long, okay?"

"O...okay." Stiles answered, suddenly feeling uneasy at the thought of staying in their suite alone.

"Good. I'll keep my phone on, if there's anything you need, call me?"

"Uh... Ye...yeah, I will."

"Kay, I won't be long. Sorry I have to bail on you tonight, Stiles."

"No, no it's okay really. Plus everything needs to be perfect for the big night tomorrow. Now, go. The longer you're standing here the longer you'll have to stay there."

"Right!" Derek whispered, catching Stiles' gaze. God, how he wanted to kiss him. Brushing the boy's hand he said,

"Later, then."

"Yeah, later."

One last brush, just to feel his warm skin under his fingers, and Derek was out the door, getting into a cab.

* * *

"Oh sweet bun, you're here... _finally_. Little Vanilla slow you down?"

"I still don't know, after all these years, how such nonsense could come out of such a perfect mouth." Derek said dryly, already pissed to be there when he really wanted to be back at the hotel with Stiles.

"So, what's the problem?" He asked, gesturing towards to the back of the gallery where the office was. The sooner they started working, the sooner he'd be able to leave and get back to the hotel. Knowing Stiles was alone was making him really uncomfortable, but he had no idea why.

"Oh Chéri." She giggled.

"So the delivery came in this afternoon, like I said, but I was out so I couldn't go over it until tonight. The gallery owner said the delivery men seemed confused, they were asking about a second package. I checked and I think every thing's there but I'm not sure as it's the first time I'm seeing these pieces."

"Okay, I'll look through them. Can you tell me if the upstairs room has been prepared yet?"

"Yes, I did it personally!" Cynthia said, standing next to Derek as he went through the pictures he had selected at the very last moment.

"_So_... I never imagined you as being a fan of Lacrosse? Or maybe it's just that one particular player that's caught your eye. I've got to say he's really breath taking! Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"That you're head over heels for him, duh!" She said like she was talking to a five years old.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Derek answered, denial always got him out of jams in the past.

"_Bitch please..._ It's so obvious, like the nose on your face or the brick wall you're about to walk into!" She exclaimed, her '_Drama Queen'_ mode on full blast.

"I... We're not in that kind of relationship…" Derek answered honestly.

"_Yet!_" Cynthia sing-song-ed, looking like the fucking Cheshire Cat. She gave them a month before they were sleeping together.

"Please, C!" Derek pleaded, shy, knowing exactly what that smile meant.

"What? Honey, I'm just stating the _**obvious**_. You two, I saw it today, you're meant for each other. And if you're scared because he's young then... _Please_ don't be, he's as smitten as you are!" She confessed. She wasn't blind and she had lived, she knew how to recognize these kind of things when they were put under her nose.

"Seriously, honey! Give it a shot. I know you'll call me in three months to tell me he's the one. Plus, I'm sure you can feel it already... The _pull_!"

"C…" Derek whispered, his voice as weak as one of a trapped animal. He caught Cyn's eyes and knew right then that his own eyes were betraying him.

"_Oh. My. Fudging. God._ I knew it. He's the one. You found _**the one**_! **_Oh My God_** I can't believe it. Fuck, if only Laura was still here, her and I would have the best time watching you and Little Vanilla get together!"

"Okay, okay. Now shut up, and help me. I don't want to spent all night here. And you say nothing of this in front of him, you don't even make hints, you hear me…" Derek threatened.

She smiled wickedly then made the gesture of zipping her mouth, locking it and dropping the key. Derek didn't feel relieved in the slightest, she was the worst. A perfect mix of Laura and Cora. Which means... She was a menace in his life!

"I swear to god, you are worse than Laura ever was. I'm so glad you haven't met Cora yet!"

"Oh didn't I tell you? I sent her an invitation for the exhibit too!" She said, looking closely at her nails, as if she was talking about the weather.

"WHAT?" Derek cried, cold sweat breaking out on his skin. Cora was coming to the exhibit? And no one thought he should know about it? Oh my god, her and Cynthia in the same room and Stiles not far away... Why was he suddenly feeling like only a disaster could come out of such a situation?!

"Sorry, I guess it slipped my mind!"

"It sl... It slipped your mind! REALLY?! God this is going to be a freaking nightmare if you, her and Stiles end up in the same room. I think we should cancel the exhibit right now!" Derek said, completely freaking out.

"Okay now, stay calm, don't freak out sweet bun, everything will be just fine. And besides, I really wanted to meet her as a good part of this exhibit are pictures of her."

"You're the devil!"

"Yeah, that's what they say, but let's be honest, that's why they love me!"

"Shit…" Derek whispered, deciding it was better to go back to work, but he could feel his friend's creepy smile like it was a burning iron on his skin. God but tomorrow would be... _Aww_ he couldn't even think of tomorrow.

* * *

Two hours later, they were finally done and Cynthia drove him back to the hotel. They kissed each other's cheek goodbye and finally Derek could let out a deep breath once back in his and Stiles' suite.

"Stiles?" He asked, but got no answer. The teen might have fallen asleep while waiting for him to return. Derek felt bad, it had taken more time than he'd thought it would, but at least none of the pieces were missing from the delivery.

He went for his bedroom and happily changed into sweatpants for the night. He was going to get water from the mini bar when he heard it, a small whimper. Listening closely, he heard it again, the sound coming from Stiles' bedroom.

Bottle in hand he went for the door, keeping his ears open, ready to burst into the bedroom if he felt Stiles was in too much distress. Another whimper came through the door, louder this time, and he couldn't resist looking into the room. Derek saw Stiles' body lost in a tangle of sheets, tossing and turning shakily. He didn't procrastinate anymore when Stiles' whimpers changed to frightened sobs, small pieces of words easily audible now.

"...no...no! Mom... Don't... Don't go there! Mom! MOM! No! Mom... Derek... Derek... No... _**NO!**_"

Derek rushed to the bed, shaking the teen hoping he would open his eyes; the urge to wake him up from his nightmare and hold him tight, stronger than ever. It was the first time he was witnessing one of Stiles' nightmares, and it was a frightful vision to witness.

"_Stiles! Stiles!_ Wake up, wake up baby, _please_. It's just a dream! Come on open your eyes Stiles... _Stiles!_"

He growled, seeing Stiles not reacting to a calm voice. He shook him more forcefully and called his name again, a spark of anger present, the way he remembered from before he'd left. Finally, after what seemed like endless hours, Stiles jerked awake, eyes wide open, shaking violently, a strangled cry lost on his lips and tears running down his sunken cheeks. He grabbed his head in his hands, sounding and looking so broken.

"Stiles..." Derek whispered near him. That got him the boy's attention. Seeing him there seemed to tare Stiles out of the remains of his nightmare. His eyes widened extremely as he tried to say, his voice shaking on his words,

"Der... Derek... You're... But..."

"I'm here baby, it's okay. Just a nightmare!"

"No... No... You were..._you were_..."

He couldn't say anything else and broke down in tears. Derek, by reflex, cradled him tightly in his arms.

"Derek... Derek…" He repeated in between sobs.

"I'm here. I'm right here with you." Derek whispered softly, his hand rubbing circles on Stiles' back to calm him.

It took a long time for Stiles to calm down and start breathing normally again. Still clinging to Derek, he pressed his face to the mans shoulder and breathed in his scent, which helped push away his remaining fear.

"Derek?!" He whispered, his fingers tightening on the hot skin beneath them. He had been so scared; this dream had been so real that now, he had trouble distancing it from reality.

"I'm here, Stiles. With you." Derek answered, still rubbing the teens bare back.

"No... No, you were dead. You were... You were all dead! And I... I couldn't... I couldn't save you. I had lost you. I...I…"

"Stiles... Stiles listen to me. It was a dream... Only a dream. You're safe, it's over, you hear me!" Derek said, holding Stiles' face tightly between his hands. And those hands were so warm against the boy' damp skin.

"But... But you... I saw you... You…"

"I'm fine. I'm fine and safe. I'm here with you and alive and safe, Stiles. Nothing is gonna happen. It was just a dream!" Derek said tenderly, his thumb caressing the cheek bone under it.

His eyes met Stiles', and he couldn't push the sudden wave of protection that rushed over him away. Giving in to his impulse, he bent down a little to kiss Stiles' forehead. He felt the teen shake under his lips, and long arms circled his waist, holding him tight. And from that very moment Derek knew…

He knew he could never go back. Could never push away his mate!

* * *

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_See you next year, wolvies._**

**_Take care until then, and I hope Santa was generous to you this year!_**

**_P._**


End file.
